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The ArtiChoke

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Posted 09-18-2014 at 09:49 PM by Barry from MS

'The Art of War' was written over 2000 years ago, and this timeless wisdom has inspired many famous military strategists, including General MacArthur. The Art of the Choke (which we'll refer to as ArtiChoke) I'm sure can be traced as far back in history as 'The Art of War'. But for our purposes, we'll just use the ArtiChoke to apply towards our present and towards some traumatic past references of our Black & Gold.

If you can remember as far back as "The Bum Years" or further, you can surely understand that our Saints had the ArtiChoke to near flawless perfection. How can you forget us blowing a 35-7 halftime lead @ SF in 1980, or our end-of-the-season 1983 implosion versus the Rams at home (see my 1st blog)? How about Tim Couch's 1999 Hail Mary in the Dome, or dropping the final 3 games in 2002 to 3 of the worst teams in the NFL that year to miss the playoffs at 9-7? And finally (and mercifully), our missed PAT in 2003 after the "River City Relay" play that ultimately kicked (or shanked, for use of a more appropriate term) us out of the playoffs that year?

This team is steeped in fantastic and unbelievable chokes, and no one can convince me for one second that they had absolute faith that the Vikings wouldn't come back in our NFCCG win, or that the Colts wouldn't come back to win our Super Bowl win...unless you were born after 2000 or you had jumped on this bandwagon in 2009 and have stayed.

But let's talk recently: 2014.

Week 1: We blow a 20-7 1st Half lead to the FailClowns, who is an organization owning the most awful fans who cannot be matched in ever souring the air we breath like they have. We manage to rebound and get the game into overtime only to vomit the ball back to these colossal dingle-berries on our own side of the field as soon as overtime begins. In Atlanta. Embarrassing.

Week 2: We take our Clown Show to the Dawg Pound of Cleveland, and their notoriously anemic offense went from inside their own 5 yard line with over 2 minutes left in the game and kick a last second field goal to win by 2. Our Defense. Embarrassing.

If there is any mercy in this world, Weeks 3-17 will not conjure the historic breakdowns of our tainted past...hell, these first 2 weeks of 2014 could be considered by some as having historic levels of rancid jackass-ery. But there is still much, much hope as we plow into Weeks 3-17 and plant the beginning of a new chapter written within 'The Holy Book of Our 2014 Saints'.

I'm just praying we aren't harvesting ArtiChokes this year...
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  1. Old Comment
    Hey you forgot the BeastQuake, and losing to the Niners with like 12 seconds left in the 2011-12 playoffs
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    Posted 09-18-2014 at 10:10 PM by VegasSaint9 VegasSaint9 is offline

  2. Old Comment
    Barry from MS's Avatar
    Forgotten? Never. Come on, man, I went all the way back to 1980. I'm barely past that 2003 idiocy. And the wounds of those you mentioned have not yet healed properly, so I won't be able to write about or even acknowledge those for at least another 10 years. Give me time, man, give me time.
    permalink
    Posted 09-18-2014 at 11:00 PM by Barry from MS Barry from MS is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Halo's Avatar
    Unfortunately, we're harvesting Artichokes again!!
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    Posted 09-29-2014 at 10:01 AM by Halo Halo is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Barry from MS's Avatar
    Gawd! So much talent, yet so much incompetence. In the past, 1-3 would be considered a success.
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    Posted 09-29-2014 at 07:54 PM by Barry from MS Barry from MS is offline
  5. Old Comment
    hagan714's Avatar
    i agree i remember all to well selling pre made bags with 0-8 on one side and 0-9 on the other. for that half time flip.

    that is one reason i am never happy with what we have, you can always do better. these times are hard to take when you have the sweet taste of victory on your lips for so many years.

    the run will end one day and the window is closing and all i ask is not to return to the cellar again.
    permalink
    Posted 10-01-2014 at 10:48 AM by hagan714 hagan714 is offline
 
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