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This is what I love about the South!!

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; SOUTH Declares War on the USA . The President was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, Mr.President ” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, and I am callin' ...

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Old 02-05-2011, 11:29 PM   #1
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Talking This is what I love about the South!!

SOUTH Declares War on the USA .

The President was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, Mr.President ” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Joe's Catfish Shack, and I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," The President replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"

The President paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. “Mr President, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" The President asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor."

The President sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. “Mr President! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said The President. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners."

Southern CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
If you are a REAL SOUTHERNER, you won't even need to be told to pass this on.
GOD BLESS THE SOUTH!

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:25 AM   #2
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Outstanding.

You know, Texas and Louisiana alone could sustain themselves, and probably make a fine country. We'd call it LaTex. We'd have the best football, best food, drill when and where the hell we want, so we'd be rich, and our girls would be prettier. And nobody wants to mess with a bunch of Coonazzes and Cowboys.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:48 AM   #3
 
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Originally Posted by skymike View Post
Outstanding.

You know, Texas and Louisiana alone could sustain themselves, and probably make a fine country. We'd call it LaTex. We'd have the best football, best food, drill when and where the hell we want, so we'd be rich, and our girls would be prettier. And nobody wants to mess with a bunch of Coonazzes and Cowboys.
I remember some obscure thread not too long ago on that ... I believe you were VP on LaTex and FF Treasurer, and Halo Prez ... or something like that.
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Old 02-16-2011, 05:49 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by skymike View Post
Outstanding.

You know, Texas and Louisiana alone could sustain themselves, and probably make a fine country. We'd call it LaTex. We'd have the best football, best food, drill when and where the hell we want, so we'd be rich, and our girls would be prettier. And nobody wants to mess with a bunch of Coonazzes and Cowboys.
I think you mean that your girls would be prettier so you can drill when and where the hell you want.
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Old 02-16-2011, 06:14 PM   #5
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I think my wife might object.
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Old 02-18-2011, 01:05 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by skymike View Post
Outstanding.

You know, Texas and Louisiana alone could sustain themselves, and probably make a fine country. We'd call it LaTex.
We could join all the areas below I-10...
SE TX, LA, MS, AL & the SW FL panhandle and call it the Hurricane state.

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Old 02-18-2011, 04:04 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by foreverfan View Post
We could join all the areas below I-10...
SE TX, LA, MS, AL & the SW FL panhandle and call it the Hurricane state.
nono, we want the Pineywoods too. That lumber industry would
do much for our economy. Plus there's a bunch of good ol' boys up there
who spend much time shooting guns, and should we need to defend our nation, you need these guys. This is exactly what happened in the Civil War.
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Old 02-18-2011, 05:31 PM   #8
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That LA. unit they called the Tigers, (whom LSU is named after) did some
pretty fierce fighting too.

You know, Louisiana was a badazz bed of resistance. I just learned a couple years ago about battles in Franklin, and up Bayou Teche.

Then there was the cold dead stop the Louisianians put up at Pleasant Hill, which halted the Red River Campaign. Yankees didnt like hacking their way thru NWLA one bit.

Last edited by skymike; 02-18-2011 at 05:33 PM..
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Old 02-21-2011, 08:51 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by foreverfan View Post
We could join all the areas below I-10...
SE TX, LA, MS, AL & the SW FL panhandle and call it the Hurricane state.

Sorry, FF, you have to include NC on that hurricane line. And there are still a lot of folks around here that would love to kick the Yankees out from our state and make it strictly a Southern thing.
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Old 02-21-2011, 07:00 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by niteadept View Post
Sorry, FF, you have to include NC on that hurricane line. And there are still a lot of folks around here that would love to kick the Yankees out from our state and make it strictly a Southern thing.
Nita, you're bad.... your nationwide.... (ask your dad about that song....)
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