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skymike 02-17-2011 04:51 PM

return of the COMDOM STORY - a B&G classic exclusive
 
Well its offseason, and I just realized we lost this in that purge long ago, plus we have a lot of new members, and this is just a classic. It's 100% true-- happened to me 6 or 7 years ago.

And now... The classic, now famous, Condom Story:

One night prior to an evening with someone I knew I didn’t want having my children, I stopped into a convienience store in Tomball, TX. to buy some protection. I have no idea what the people in the store were doing, or why, but I am NOT exaggerating:

So I waited my turn in line, and pointed to the blue box on the wall, "I’ll just have one of those packs of condoms please….
The Lady behind the counter gets a huge Chinese Smile, whaaaaaat?
(thinking, "oh geez, gotta repeat myself now.")just uh… one of those boxes of…
um.… (really fast) condoms ! ….
YOU WANT CON-DOOOM??!!"
"Uh, yes maam, just uh, ..that blue…. box there…will be… fine thank you"
OK, I GET YOU CONDOM!!!
yes, ok, thank you
"YOU WANT THIS COOOON-DOOOM??!!"
"uh, yes, yes maam, I’ll just take that, how much do I owe?"
"OR YOU WANT THIS COOOOON-DOOOM??!!"
"no, no maam, the light blue box, please, ok, yes thank you "
" THIS ONE??!!"
"yes… yes, that will be fine.... I’ll just take that and...

People, I am not exaggerating. I have no idea what they were doing. So lets continue:

(after thinking a minute)

"uh, maam, could I go ahead and get one more box of …."
"WHAAAAAT??!!
...yes, um... please... just....(pointing weakly)
YOU WANT MOOOOA COOONDOOOOM???!!"
--Chinese Smile doubles in size---
"HOW MANY CONDOM YOU NEEEEEEEEEED???!!"
ah.. j- , just that other box, please… yes, ok…

--- Now Papa Chinese Dude is smiling an extra large Chinese Smile too, and chimes in, but his idea gets very lost in the translation:
"OH YOU GONNA MAKE BABY TONIIIITE!!!!!"
(my voice trailing off)

"well, actually, trying not to, but uh… ok….lets just...

Mrs. Chinese Lady: "YOU NEED MOA CONDOM !!!!!
yes, thank you... I'll just pay for...
O----KAAAAAY HERE YOU COOOOONDOOOOMMMM THANKK YOUUU VERYMUCH!!! !!"
Anyone else but me would have sued them. I laughed till I cried on the way over to where I went. No idea what they were doing or why, or why they knew they could get away with it on me. But I'm glad they did.

foreverfan 02-17-2011 04:59 PM

Mike... An obvious child support story?

You should hear my tampon story.

YOU WANT SUPER MAXI?
Err... no... they're not for me. Are you insinuating I'm fat?

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...9AwEzjlSsw&t=1

skymike 02-17-2011 05:05 PM

"Price Check!," I'm guessing?

Why do they always need to check the price, when you're buying embarrassing stuff????

Me, Walmart, and the "Christmas Nightie," --- yes... you could have called it a week before I walked up to the counter.

One time, I had a family member, who needed a "Fleet Enema." I was 17, and had friends who worked at the store... and of course the cashier was young and cute.... I am still P.O.'d at my mom to this day.

foreverfan 02-17-2011 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skymike (Post 285767)
"Price Check!," I'm guessing?

Why do they always need to check the price, when you're buying embarrassing stuff????

Me, Walmart, and the "Christmas Nightie," --- yes... you could have called it a week before I walked up to the counter.

One time, I had a family member, who needed a "Fleet Enema." I was 17, and had friends who worked at the store... and of course the cashier was young and cute.... I am still P.O.'d at my mom to this day.

Enema bag? I use a teaspoon.

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