return of the COMDOM STORY - a B&G classic exclusive
 

Well its offseason, and I just realized we lost this in that purge long ago, plus we have a lot of new members, and this is just a classic. It's 100% true-- happened to me 6 or 7 years ago.

And now... The classic, now famous, Condom Story:

One night prior to an evening with someone I knew I didn’t want having my children, I stopped into a convienience store in Tomball, TX. to buy some protection. I have no idea what the people in the store were doing, or why, but I am NOT exaggerating:

So I waited my turn in line, and pointed to the blue box on the wall, "I’ll just have one of those packs of condoms please….
The Lady behind the counter gets a huge Chinese Smile, whaaaaaat?
(thinking, "oh geez, gotta repeat myself now.")just uh… one of those boxes of…
um.… (really fast) condoms ! ….
YOU WANT CON-DOOOM??!!"
"Uh, yes maam, just uh, ..that blue…. box there…will be… fine thank you"
OK, I GET YOU CONDOM!!!
yes, ok, thank you
"YOU WANT THIS COOOON-DOOOM??!!"
"uh, yes, yes maam, I’ll just take that, how much do I owe?"
"OR YOU WANT THIS COOOOON-DOOOM??!!"
"no, no maam, the light blue box, please, ok, yes thank you "
" THIS ONE??!!"
"yes… yes, that will be fine.... I’ll just take that and...

People, I am not exaggerating. I have no idea what they were doing. So lets continue:

(after thinking a minute)

"uh, maam, could I go ahead and get one more box of …."
"WHAAAAAT??!!
...yes, um... please... just....(pointing weakly)
YOU WANT MOOOOA COOONDOOOOM???!!"
--Chinese Smile doubles in size---
"HOW MANY CONDOM YOU NEEEEEEEEEED???!!"
ah.. j- , just that other box, please… yes, ok…

--- Now Papa Chinese Dude is smiling an extra large Chinese Smile too, and chimes in, but his idea gets very lost in the translation:
"OH YOU GONNA MAKE BABY TONIIIITE!!!!!"
(my voice trailing off)

"well, actually, trying not to, but uh… ok….lets just...

Mrs. Chinese Lady: "YOU NEED MOA CONDOM !!!!!
yes, thank you... I'll just pay for...
O----KAAAAAY HERE YOU COOOOONDOOOOMMMM THANKK YOUUU VERYMUCH!!! !!"
Anyone else but me would have sued them. I laughed till I cried on the way over to where I went. No idea what they were doing or why, or why they knew they could get away with it on me. But I'm glad they did.

Mike... An obvious child support story?

You should hear my tampon story.

YOU WANT SUPER MAXI?
Err... no... they're not for me. Are you insinuating I'm fat?

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...9AwEzjlSsw&t=1

"Price Check!," I'm guessing?

Why do they always need to check the price, when you're buying embarrassing stuff????

Me, Walmart, and the "Christmas Nightie," --- yes... you could have called it a week before I walked up to the counter.

One time, I had a family member, who needed a "Fleet Enema." I was 17, and had friends who worked at the store... and of course the cashier was young and cute.... I am still P.O.'d at my mom to this day.

Enema bag? I use a teaspoon.

More Free Stuff... CraigsList!