This is udderly ridiculous!!
 

A famous merchandising tycoon told the following story at a conference:

"There was a town out in the old west that had two general stores. Harry, who owned one of them was a workaholic. He opened early, stayed in the store all day and closed late. Even so, he barely made a living.

Larry, who ran the other store, came in at nine. At 10, he went out back, where he kept some cattle, and made all the cows turn and face north. After lunch, Larry went out back again and made all the cows turn and face south. This practice was repeated every day.

Larry's store was successful and he became wealthy."

The speaker then asked his audience if anyone could tell what principle of merchandising was illustrated by the story.

A guy in the back stood up and said, "If you want to be successful in merchandising, ...

... it is important to rotate your stock!"

Boudreaux's expectant sister was in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma.

After nearly six months, she awoke and saw that she was no longer expecting.
Frantically, she asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you had twins - a boy and a girl. The babies
are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The sister thought to herself, "Oh, no! Not Boudreaux; he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor answers.

The new mother says, "Wow! That's a beautiful name, maybe I was wrong
about my brother.

I really like the name 'Denise. What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."

http://th412.photobucket.com/albums/...w-Stripper.gif

I just done spit water all over my computer screen at work...

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected
his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad..

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors
would change underwear occasionally.

The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"
The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."

He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with
Schultz."

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:
Someone may come along and promise "Change",
but don't count on things smelling any better.

http://www.publiusforum.com/images/obama_snob.gif

How 'bout dis one...


An Ole Miss freshman came into a dept. store and asked for 7 pair of underwear. The clerk smiles and says, "Why 7?" The Ole Miss student replies, "1 for Monday, 1 for Tuesday, etc."

Later, an LSU freshman comes in and asks the clerk for 12 pairs of underwear. The clerk again smiles and asks, "Why 12?" The LSU student replies, "1 for January, 1 for February, etc."