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Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; Some laughs there I hope....

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Old 09-07-2016, 07:21 AM   #1241
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Re: Joke of the Day

Some laughs there I hope.
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Old 09-07-2016, 09:15 PM   #1242
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Re: Joke of the Day

Originally Posted by Crusader View Post
Some laughs there I hope.
I didn't know you are a bear racist.
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Old 09-08-2016, 02:27 AM   #1243
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Re: Joke of the Day

I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party.
Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
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Old 09-08-2016, 03:17 AM   #1244
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Re: Joke of the Day

And some more.
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Old 09-08-2016, 09:08 PM   #1245
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Re: Joke of the Day

...
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Old 09-14-2016, 03:25 AM   #1246
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Re: Joke of the Day

A priest and a nun were lost in a blizzard. After a while, they came upon a small cabin. Being exhausted, they prepared to go to sleep. There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the floor – but only one bed.
Being a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I’ll sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.”
Just as he got zipped up in the bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said “Father, I’m cold.”
He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got a blanket and put it on her.
Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, “Father, I’m still very cold.”
He unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into the sleeping bag once again. Just as his eyes closed, she said, “Father, I’m sooooo cold.”
This time, he remained there, giving the woman a wink and a smile, then said, “Sister, I have an idea. We’re out here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let’s pretend we’re married.”
The nun purred, “Sounds good to me.”
To which the priest yelled out, “Okay then – get up and get your own stupid blanket!”

You kids get off my lawn!
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Old 09-16-2016, 02:49 AM   #1247
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Re: Joke of the Day

Kevin*and Peter*were identical twins. Kevin*owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unknown to him, his brother Peter’s*wife had died suddenly in his absence.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery store. A kind old woman there mistook him for Peter*and said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible.”

Kevin, thinking she was talking about his boat said, “Hell no! Fact is, I’m sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.”

“I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn’t very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle.”
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Old 09-17-2016, 06:32 PM   #1248
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