Go Back   New Orleans Saints Forums - blackandgold.com > Main > Everything Else

Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake....

Like Tree1521Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-02-2012, 05:21 AM   #431
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

How do you seduce a fat woman? Piece of cake.
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2012, 05:28 AM   #432
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-02-2012, 05:30 AM   #433
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

"Excuse me. Do you know the way to the zoo?"
"No, I'm sorry I don't."
"Well, it's two blocks this way, then one block to the left."
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2012, 10:35 AM   #434
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
Re: Joke of the Day

A guy from Mississippi came running into the store and tells his buddy, “Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!”

Bubba replied, “Did y’all see who it was?”

The man answered, “I couldn’t tell, but I got the license number.”
Crusader likes this.
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2012, 02:24 AM   #435
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
Re: Joke of the Day

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, “I got a flat tahr.”

The passerby asked, “But what’s with the flowers?”

The man responded, “When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither.”

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-16-2012, 09:44 PM   #436
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
Re: Joke of the Day

A guy goes into a bar and tells the bartender, "I want a glass of your best champagne! I am celebrating my first blow job!"

The bartender says, "Congratulations!! Let me give you one on the house!"

The man says, No thanks; if one doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, to hell with it!"
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2012, 11:33 AM   #437
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

So I put out an ad in the newspaper yesterday saying "Wife wanted".
Today I got 500 letters in the mail saying "You can have mine".
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2012, 02:36 AM   #438
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."
foreverfan likes this.

W.T. Sherman is my favorite General. After all he did order Atlanta to be burned to the ground.
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2012, 02:37 AM   #439
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ''There's the plank for trouble makers, there's the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there's the barrel for all you sexual needs.''

''Whatcha mean? my sexual needs?''

''Well, you stick your willy in the hole and you'll be serviced, anytime you want, except for Wednesdays.''

''What happens on Wednesdays?''

''It's your turn in the barrel...''
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2012, 02:38 AM   #440
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Re: Joke of the Day

A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church."

The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?"

"There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money. "

"I see," said the pastor. "And is this b*tch giving you a hard time?"

W.T. Sherman is my favorite General. After all he did order Atlanta to be burned to the ground.
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: https://blackandgold.com/ee/37280-joke-day.html
Posted By For Type Date Hits
Joke of the Day - Page 9 : Jessica Elway Photos, Wallpapers, Galleries - This thread Refback 03-21-2012 03:53 PM 1


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:54 AM.


Copyright 1997 - 2020 - BlackandGold.com
no new posts