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Joke of the Day

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Old 06-27-2013, 07:39 PM   #671
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Re: Joke of the Day

Re: Joke of the Day
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Old 06-28-2013, 07:51 AM   #672
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Re: Joke of the Day

A few days ago, my teacher asked... what our favorite animal was?

I said, "Fried chicken."

She told me, I wasn't funny. My parents told me to always tell the truth and I did. Fried chicken IS my favorite animal. She couldn't have been right, because everyone laughed.

Anyways, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened and he laughed, too. Then, he told me not to do it, again.


Then, I told my dad what happened. He said my teacher was probably a member of PETA and how they love animals very much. Well, I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

The next day, in class, my teacher asked what out favorite live animal was?

I told her it was chicken. She asked me why? So, I told her, it's because you could make them into fried chicken.

Again, she sent me to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it, again.
I don't understand any of this. My parents taught me to be honest. But, my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admired most?

I told her, "Colonel Sanders!"

Well, guess where I am now...






The next day, in class, my teacher asked what out favorite live animal was?



I told her it was chicken. She asked me why? So, I told her, it's because you could make them into fried chicken.



Again, she sent me to the principal's office. He laughed and told me not to do it, again.



I don't understand any of this. My parents taught me to be honest. But, my teacher doesn't like it when I am.



Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admired most?



I told her, "Colonel Sanders!"



Well, guess where I am now...

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:55 AM   #673
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Re: Joke of the Day

Originally Posted by WhoDat!656 View Post
Re: Joke of the Day
Reminds me of the camping joke....
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Old 06-30-2013, 12:59 AM   #674
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Re: Joke of the Day

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid.. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David," she answered.

"They're all named David?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'David,' and they all come running in."

"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"

"I just say, 'David, come eat your dinner'," she answered.

"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name!"

You kids get off my lawn!
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:04 AM   #675
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Re: Joke of the Day

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved 3-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for fruit, cereal and soda in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Grandpa is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Tommy,we won't be long . . . easy, boy."
Another outburst and she hears the grandpa calmly say: "It's okay, Tommy, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart and Grandpa says again in a controlled voice, "Tommy, Tommy relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool, Tommy boy.
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly man, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying 'things would be okay...Tommy is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," said the grandpa, "but I'm Tommy,This wee ****'s name is Billy.

You kids get off my lawn!
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:08 AM   #676
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Re: Joke of the Day

Employee : Sir, you called me?
Boss : Yeah,go to the rest room and masturbate.
Employee : (After few mins) ,done sir
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : Done again, sir.
Boss : Do it once more
Employee : Now I don't have
stamina for it, sir.
Boss : Very good,here are my car
keys, drop my daughter at home.
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Old 06-30-2013, 12:19 PM   #677
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Re: Joke of the Day

The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

“What happened?” she asks anxiously.

“What happened!! I’ll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I get home... and guess what I found ? Yes, your daughter, my Jean, with a naked guy in our bed! This is unforgiveable, the end of our marriage. I’m done. I’m leaving forever!”

“Calm down, calm down!” says his mother-in-law. “There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I’ll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened.”

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

“I told you there must be a simple explanation .....she didn’t receive your E-mail!”

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:11 PM   #678
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Re: Joke of the Day

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Old 07-03-2013, 11:42 AM   #679
 
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Re: Joke of the Day

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, 'It's what mummy calls me sometimes'.

The little girl screams to her brother "DON'T EAT IT TOMMY, IT'S AN /\$$#0LE!!!"
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Old 07-07-2013, 11:36 AM   #680
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