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Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; What is Courage? What is the meaning of courage? Is it to fight a bull without a weapon? Is it to fly a fighter in combat? Is it to practice free fall parachuting? Is it bungee jumping? White water rafting? ...

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Old 03-31-2014, 02:54 PM   #931
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Re: Joke of the Day

What is Courage?


What is the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a bull without a weapon?

Is it to fly a fighter in combat?


Is it to practice free fall parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping? White water rafting?

Horsefeathers - those are nothing!

THIS, my friend, is COURAGE!!!





Plus it's the last photo I have

of my dog, Whitey
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:30 AM   #932
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Re: Joke of the Day

Courage comes in many forms!
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:34 AM   #933
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Re: Joke of the Day

'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'

'That's very fair, your honour,' the husband said. 'And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:35 AM   #934
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Re: Joke of the Day

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife
at all.'

'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really
good with the kids.'
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:36 AM   #935
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Re: Joke of the Day

Two detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun',' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'

'I don't know. But it made a hole in Juan.'
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Old 04-01-2014, 02:38 AM   #936
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Re: Joke of the Day

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap
of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by
even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:51 AM   #937
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Re: Joke of the Day

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Old 04-02-2014, 08:55 AM   #938
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Old 04-05-2014, 12:36 PM   #939
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Re: Joke of the Day

Florida
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.

"Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.


Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."


Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying, "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."


Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
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Old 04-06-2014, 09:15 AM   #940
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Joke of the Day

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this fu3xkibg badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

"Your badge, show him your fu3k1ng BADGE!!!
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