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Video of gun-toting dad blasting away at daughter's laptop goes viral

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; Originally Posted by saintfan Taking the laptop away, in my opinion, would have been sufficient. A little public humiliation might also have been in order, but he's doing precisely what he is railing at her about. No? He really is ...

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Old 02-15-2012, 05:43 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by saintfan View Post
Taking the laptop away, in my opinion, would have been sufficient. A little public humiliation might also have been in order, but he's doing precisely what he is railing at her about. No?

He really is showing her...that, what, two can play that game?

I recall a story my grandpa tells about my great grandpa. He tells a story about leaving the gate open repeatedly and getting lectured about it. And he told me one time:

"You know son, the thing about paw paw is that he could shame us boys so bad that being shamed was worse than just about anything else he could have done." In the end...the moral of the story...is that my grandpa and his brothers understood that it embarrassed THEM when they embarrassed HIM.

Now, I have two children. They are 6, girl, and 2, boy. I know it's an uphill battle and I know that sometimes the best laid plans can go awry. But I'm thinking that SOMEbody might not have figured out how somebody else is wired if it has to escalate to such a point that the GROWN UP is railing away AT HIS OWN DAMN DAUGHTER...ON FACEBOOK...and putting 6 bullets into a freaking laptop computer as a way to SHOW HER that HE can do it too. Man it must be miserable to live in that home, right?

When I got my ear pierced when I was 17 my mother threw everything in the house at me...if it wasn't nailed down she picked it up and threw it at me, running through the house screaming and crying, "What have I raised!"

Dudes that strengthened my resolve. I was keeping that earring hell or high water...until my grandpa sat me down and explained to me why he didn't approve, necessarily, and what my consequences would be if I chose to keep it.

I took it out at the end of that conversation. Sometimes I wish I hadn't. It didn't really hurt anything, and I wasn't rebelling against my family by piercing my ear. In the end though, I chose to respect my family, because he made me see, with words, the whole picture. Nothing was said that day that couldn't be taken back. Nothing was done that couldn't be undone.

All my step dad (one of the greatest men I will ever know) had to say when me and my mother were really having problems because she was paranoid and I was, well, a teenager, was this:

"You've never really seen me get mad. You don't want to." I took him at his word because, you know, he was so calm and level headed all the time...just to hear him say that, you know, that he could even get mad, in a tone I'd never really heard before...you know...that was enough.

See, kids are going to be kids. There are going to be moments. But it's pretty clear to me that the man in that video doesn't have his daughter's respect...at all...and I'd wager she doesn't have his either...

And after watching that video he wouldn't have mine either. I don't know him. I don't know his daughter. And no, I don't know the whole story either. Was she using facebook to become a prostitute, or to sell drugs, or to cheat on tests, or was she venting about what every kid on the face of the planet vents about from time to time? I don't know. Certainly she deserved, based on her facebook post, some consequences I have no doubt. But we can be pretty sure it didn't start there. We can be pretty sure that facebook is a symptom of whatever the real problem is between that girl and her dad/parents. And I can only hope and pray that as my kids make me angry enough to take my pistol and bust a few caps in their laptops...that I don't actually do it. That by the time they're are old enough to understand what consequences really are...that I can levy those consequences in a civilized way...
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Old 02-15-2012, 01:35 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by saintfan View Post
Taking the laptop away, in my opinion, would have been sufficient. A little public humiliation might also have been in order, but he's doing precisely what he is railing at her about. No?

He really is showing her...that, what, two can play that game?

I recall a story my grandpa tells about my great grandpa. He tells a story about leaving the gate open repeatedly and getting lectured about it. And he told me one time:

"You know son, the thing about paw paw is that he could shame us boys so bad that being shamed was worse than just about anything else he could have done." In the end...the moral of the story...is that my grandpa and his brothers understood that it embarrassed THEM when they embarrassed HIM.

Now, I have two children. They are 6, girl, and 2, boy. I know it's an uphill battle and I know that sometimes the best laid plans can go awry. But I'm thinking that SOMEbody might not have figured out how somebody else is wired if it has to escalate to such a point that the GROWN UP is railing away AT HIS OWN DAMN DAUGHTER...ON FACEBOOK...and putting 6 bullets into a freaking laptop computer as a way to SHOW HER that HE can do it too. Man it must be miserable to live in that home, right?

When I got my ear pierced when I was 17 my mother threw everything in the house at me...if it wasn't nailed down she picked it up and threw it at me, running through the house screaming and crying, "What have I raised!"

Dudes that strengthened my resolve. I was keeping that earring hell or high water...until my grandpa sat me down and explained to me why he didn't approve, necessarily, and what my consequences would be if I chose to keep it.

I took it out at the end of that conversation. Sometimes I wish I hadn't. It didn't really hurt anything, and I wasn't rebelling against my family by piercing my ear. In the end though, I chose to respect my family, because he made me see, with words, the whole picture. Nothing was said that day that couldn't be taken back. Nothing was done that couldn't be undone.

All my step dad (one of the greatest men I will ever know) had to say when me and my mother were really having problems because she was paranoid and I was, well, a teenager, was this:

"You've never really seen me get mad. You don't want to." I took him at his word because, you know, he was so calm and level headed all the time...just to hear him say that, you know, that he could even get mad, in a tone I'd never really heard before...you know...that was enough.

See, kids are going to be kids. There are going to be moments. But it's pretty clear to me that the man in that video doesn't have his daughter's respect...at all...and I'd wager she doesn't have his either...

And after watching that video he wouldn't have mine either. I don't know him. I don't know his daughter. And no, I don't know the whole story either. Was she using facebook to become a prostitute, or to sell drugs, or to cheat on tests, or was she venting about what every kid on the face of the planet vents about from time to time? I don't know. Certainly she deserved, based on her facebook post, some consequences I have no doubt. But we can be pretty sure it didn't start there. We can be pretty sure that facebook is a symptom of whatever the real problem is between that girl and her dad/parents. And I can only hope and pray that as my kids make me angry enough to take my pistol and bust a few caps in their laptops...that I don't actually do it. That by the time they're are old enough to understand what consequences really are...that I can levy those consequences in a civilized way...
Hey I can't agree with you more on a few points you made. But everyone is and will be different. He may have never had that talk from his parents about the embarrassment he may have cause them at one point in his life. Remember he said he was on his own at what 15? So he sounds like he may or may not have had a tough time as a kid. So he did what he thought what was best at the time. Now looking back at this he may have wished he did it a little different. So here we all are being judges in favor, and not in favor of what he did at that point. He's not harming her, he's not abusive to her, cause social services and the local police interviewed them.

I liked what he did ( to a degree ). I don't think he should have posted it for all to see. AND even now, days have gone bye and I'm rethinking " Maybe he shouldn't have done it at all". But who am I to judge what he did what he thought and his wife was right. They must have discussed it cause he put one in the laptop for her.

Now I'm a single father of two, my 5yr son and my adopted daughter of 12. The biological mother has walked out of their lives. My son doesn't understand, but her daughter sure does. The reason I'm saying this is cause I too have a very hard road with my daughter. The resentment she has toward her has cause many many problems in our new family. I have had to give her the disappointment speech to let her know what is right and wrong.
But when that doesn't work what to do then? Do I do what he has done?? I have taken her facebook away, and I did smash her phone. But that was in the garage by myself. I was furious so I smash it.

So I can see why he did it. Whether it is right or wrong. Man I feel like I'm talking in circles.. sorry if I am. Lets just hope we as parents make the best decisions for our children and we don't end up on the local news.
OR the loony bin
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:06 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by Ashley View Post
He's not harming her, he's not abusive to her, cause social services and the local police interviewed them.

Lets just hope we as parents make the best decisions for our children and we don't end up on the local news. OR the loony bin
Two very good points with which I agree completely. Like I said, I don't know the guy and I don't know his daughter, and I also know that our best efforts as parents often meet a brick wall. All I do is hope and pray that it never comes to shooting up a laptop with my kids. Will it? I don't have any idea. All I can do is everything I know how to do to keep it from ever going that far.
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Old 02-15-2012, 05:30 PM   #14
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true that!
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Old 02-15-2012, 10:38 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by saintfan View Post
Two very good points with which I agree completely. Like I said, I don't know the guy and I don't know his daughter, and I also know that our best efforts as parents often meet a brick wall. All I do is hope and pray that it never comes to shooting up a laptop with my kids. Will it? I don't have any idea. All I can do is everything I know how to do to keep it from ever going that far.

Thats very good.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:17 PM   #16
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So this was the topic of a Radio Show coming out of Sacramento yesterday. The host said The Today Show or some one or other of the Network TV morning shows did a feature on it and 70% (give or take) of the people surveyed (I don't know their sample size) agreed with the father's actions.

They guy said he would take calls after the break. For the first time in the history of me I called in and actually got on the air. I was the third caller on the air, and I listened for 30 minutes after to hear what people were saying.

100% of the callers, with the lone exception being a teenage girl who, given her lack of perspective, made some good points while completely disagreeing with the father...anyway, EVERY caller took pretty much the same opinion as me, which is:

"Yes, It's hard to raise kids, and we don't know the father's situation with his daughter, and while we agree with the spirit of what he did, breaking out his pistol and shooting holes in the innocent laptop, AND posting it all online, was probably a bit over the top."

One caller said his feelings were, you know, the daughter had it coming, but that using a lethal weapon to make his point was uncalled for - that surely there were alternatives. I think I'm squarely in agreement with this particular caller.

The final caller really launched in to the show's host for using the video for his own personal ratings gain. LOL

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Old 02-21-2012, 12:30 PM   #17
 
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Originally Posted by saintfan View Post
So this was the topic of a Radio Show coming out of Sacramento yesterday. The host said The Today Show or some one or other of the Network TV morning shows did a feature on it and 70% (give or take) of the people surveyed (I don't know their sample size) agreed with the father's actions.

They guy said he would take calls after the break. For the first time in the history of me I called in and actually got on the air. I was the third caller on the air, and I listened for 30 minutes after to hear what people were saying.

100% of the callers, with the lone exception being a teenage girl who, given her lack of perspective, made some good points while completely disagreeing with the father...anyway, EVERY caller took pretty much the same opinion as me, which is:

"Yes, It's hard to raise kids, and we don't know the father's situation with his daughter, and while we agree with the spirit of what he did, breaking out his pistol and shooting holes in the innocent laptop, AND posting it all online, was probably a bit over the top."

One caller said his feelings were, you know, the daughter had it coming, but that using a lethal weapon to make his point was uncalled for - that surely there were alternatives. I think I'm squarely in agreement with this particular caller.

The final caller really launched in to the show's host for using the video for his own personal ratings gain. LOL
Was the host the driver of this vehicle?
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:50 PM   #18
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LOL. I don't know, but that's freaking heee-larious!
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