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Redneck Valentine's Day card

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like ...

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Old 02-14-2012, 05:50 PM   #1
SaintsWillWin
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 9,889
Redneck Valentine's Day card

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have
a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like corn silk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.



You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.



You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.



Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
What I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape,
yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.



Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
You spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.



When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.



Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
We go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men,
they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.



Some men git roses
on that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.



But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds......
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
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Old 02-14-2012, 11:11 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New Haven Ct
Posts: 18,384
Thats funny right there.
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Old 02-15-2012, 02:23 PM   #3
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Location: Colorado Springs Co
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Good deal man, love them
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