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foreverfan 03-10-2012 08:29 PM

How to Make Money Channeling
Are you looking for a way to string along as many of the gullible as you can?
Do you want to maintain a scam for a financially agreeable length of time? Fake UFO footage not working out for you now that everyone's a computer whizz kid?

Proclaim yourself a channeler!
When you 'channel', you can put forth any amount of preposterous information you care to invent, because it comes from the entity you are 'channeling'. There is no comeback!

When you 'channel', no proof of your claims is required.
(Curiously, when the average person claims to hear voices in the head that make them do and say things, the mental health authorities do not require much more proof than that either)

All you need to get started is some run-of-the-mill,
platitudinous guff you have picked up from the usual suspects in the 'alternative' media. Then you'll need an eye-wateringly, truly cringe-worthy, patronizing turn of phrase. Hint: call people 'beloved', brethren', and even 'little one'! I'm serious! It works!

Once you've got the preliminary mind-set right,
no amount of inconsistency, nonsense and regurgitated waffle will stuff things up for you. Don't believe me? Do more research! I'm serious! These people get away with murder, and not only that ... they get away with inelegant, indulgent language! It's like listening to a ten year old make stuff up for a five year old. You can't go wrong!

Got all that? Well, let's face it - it ain't hard. Now we're good to go.

First, establish yourself as a 'channeler'.
Commitment and bullet-headedness will help you greatly in this department. However, since you're already determined to milk the credit-card-carrying credulous, this should not be an issue for you.

Second. look around for fellow scam-artists to latch onto.
This should not be too hard either. Bear in mind that they are all desperate to affiliate themselves with whoever is garnering the most attention. It doesn't matter if your scam is about aliens ... you will swiftly find that you are an expert on global finances, Montauk Island, quantum theory and eschatology too!

Third, don't be afraid to go too far!
Honestly, you can say whatever the f%$* you like to the sort of people who lap up the whole channeling lark. I've seen some examples so ludicrous I assumed that the 'channeler' would lose all credibility ... but no! No press is bad press! This is an INCREDIBLE market!

When you have followed these basic guidelines,
you should find the money rolling in. Ignore those niggling feelings that you're abusing the weak-minded ... forget that worrying idea that you're raping the hopes and dreams of the guileless. Stand tall! And if you really need some sort of moral fabrication to get you through the night ... well, you have a message, right? And 'Channeling' seems to be the only way to present that message with impact ... right? It's a dirty world ... why not get a little dirty too? It's all good!

Pretty soon you'll have followers who will actually defend you!
To your astonishment, they will say things like, 'no-one human could have written anything that wise.' Even more conveniently, they will demonize anyone who doubts your gift! This is a win/win situation, people - do not miss out!

You can even be creative with the channel-verse you create.
Of course, plagiarism is the highest form of art, so feel free to chip in with your version of reptilians, Nordics, greys, et al. It's a bit like re-creating the Marvel universe, only a lot easier and a lot crapper.

Lastly and perhaps most importantly: anyone who doubts your efforts is evil.
Not just naughty or incorrect, but EVIL. This is a tried and tested method for which we have religion to thank. The very kindest you can say about them is that they are on a lower vibrational level, and therefore cannot understand your wisdoms. Hey, it works! It's all good!

foreverfan 03-10-2012 08:36 PM

Who Channeled the Galactic Federation of Light?
I heard this was total BS.

QBREES9 03-16-2012 06:51 PM


foreverfan 03-16-2012 08:39 PM


Originally Posted by QBREES9 (Post 388406)

You haven't know me long enough to say that. What proof do you offer? ;)

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