New Orleans Saints - blackandgold.com

New Orleans Saints - blackandgold.com (http://blackandgold.com/community/)
-   Everything Else (http://blackandgold.com/ee/)
-   -   Mens Rules (http://blackandgold.com/ee/43997-mens-rules.html)

WhoDat!656 05-20-2012 09:44 AM

Mens Rules
 
We always hear ďthe rulesĒ from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered ď1Ē ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. Youíre a big girl. If itís up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You donít hear us *****ing about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. Itís like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Donít cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then youíre stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We donít remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think weíd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thatís what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you wonít dress like the Victoriaís Secret girls, donít expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think youíre fat, you probably are. Donít ask us. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; itís genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ďnothing,Ē we will act like nothingís wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you donít want an answer to, expect an answer you donít want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Donít ask us what weíre thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesnít matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

foreverfan 05-20-2012 12:35 PM

My wife is like an old car... you know on that cold morning... when you really need it... and it won't turn over.

- Rodney Dangerfield

QBREES9 05-21-2012 01:44 PM

Thats was great !!!!! WHODAT! 656 and I all true, funny stuff

SloMotion 05-21-2012 01:51 PM

... I didn't understand at first why they would all be #1, but after going through the list, they're all of equal importance! :lol:

sharke 05-21-2012 04:42 PM

so showed the thread to my girl. was told I reminded her the most of this point "1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself."

I took it as a compliment....but it's probably not....

foreverfan 05-21-2012 06:14 PM

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.

http://www.humorhound.com/wp-content...s-at-boobs.jpg


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:21 PM.


Copyright 1997 - 2014 - BlackandGold.com