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Men's Rules

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; Women, learn to work the toilet seat. Youíre a big girl. If itís up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You donít hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are ...

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Old 02-01-2015, 11:22 AM   #1
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Men's Rules

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. Youíre a big girl. If itís up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You donít hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. Itís like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Donít cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then youíre stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We donít remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think weíd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. Thatís what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you wonít dress like the Victoriaís Secret girls, donít expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think youíre fat, you probably are. Donít ask us. Weíve been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; itís genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say ďnothingĒ, we will act like nothingís wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you donít want an answer to, expect an answer you donít want to hear.

Donít ask us what weíre thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless itís Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesnít really matter what theyíre saying anyway.)

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, itís like camping.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 02-01-2015, 11:56 AM   #2
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Re: Men's Rules

Originally Posted by WhoDat!656 View Post
... Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, itís like camping.
... good one!
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Old 02-01-2015, 06:42 PM   #3
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Re: Men's Rules

All the above TRUE!
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