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Want To Laugh? Read This! (Happy Valentine's Day 2016)

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; The following is a true story. It happened to me on 14 February, 2016. My kids are Marlee, 9, and Tripp, 5. Marlee, demanding Olive Garden on Valentines Day, is ready to wait the 50 minutes it will take. Tripp ...

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Old 02-15-2016, 01:47 AM   #1
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Want To Laugh? Read This! (Happy Valentine's Day 2016)

The following is a true story. It happened to me on 14 February, 2016. My kids are Marlee, 9, and Tripp, 5.



Marlee, demanding Olive Garden on Valentines Day, is ready to wait the 50 minutes it will take. Tripp is not remotely interested. It's a no-brainer since Denny's is across the highway.

So I bribe him with a walk through Toys R Us which is across the parking lot. Deal on, but he's still not happy. He's hungry.

So, back from Toys R Us, they hand us the 'chip' and tell us we're 5th up. I'm happy because there are at least 30 people lingering and waiting too. Marlee is gleeful. Tripp is now full on angry. He less than gracefully accepts the 'chip' but handles things well enough. He alone assumes responsibility for the chip - leadership of the clan if you get what I mean. He has one problem. He has no idea what it is. I explain it will flash and/or vibrate when our table is ready.

He stares at this thing. Like enduring the last 10 minutes of algebra class. Like trying to pour cold syrup. He's staring. He's mumbling. Marlee is in her own world. I'm making sure Tripp's disgust with the whole thing doesn't become public knowledge and thankful that so far it has not.

And then, mercifully for the poor little guy, it vibrates and flashes and up he pops. "FINALLY!" He leads the way even, which isn't the normal for him. He was looking to give someone a piece of his mind. He walks briskly to the attractive young lady who gave us the chip. He hands it back to her and he says, and this is a direct quote - and Tripp is not quite 6 years old:

"We want to sit down now. You can have your <censored on purpose by me> back."

And he didn't call it a flasher. And he wasn't whispering.

Of course the entire, oh, at least 30 people, probably more, heard it. The poor girl goes solo-cup red and can't stop herself from laughing out loud. Her co-workers follow her lead. The other 29 people (at least) join in. For his part, Tripp appears almost proud. Everyone is laughing. He knows he caused it, and even if he doesn't know what happened he's proud nonetheless.

I had no words for the poor young lady or for anyone else. I just kinda shrugged and maybe half-grinned as they led us through the gauntlet to our table with Tripp in what can only be described as a march.

You can ask me later about the Great Valentine's Day Bread Stick Incident of 2016. Our server was tipped well for clearly also being a parent. It was one for the books. Just remember, things do not vibrate, they buzz. Remember that.

Happy Valentine's Day.

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
—Art Hoppe
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Old 02-16-2016, 05:26 PM   #2
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Re: Want To Laugh? Read This! (Happy Valentine's Day 2016)

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