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-   -   Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name (http://blackandgold.com/pelicans/53570-eff-you-pelicans-awesome-defense-nba-s-best-new-team-name.html)

CharityMike 12-07-2012 10:21 PM

Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
Great find Sainttommy! It deserves it's own thread!

So it looks like the New Orleans Hornets are going to change their name to become the Pelicans. You look around, and there are a bunch of smartasses making fun of this new name. Oh, a pelican, that's intimidating, they sneer. Well, here's what's up. These people don't know anything about good team names, and they sure as **** don't know anything about pelicans.
You're probably picturing a big, clumsy poof of a bird stumbling around in the shallows, picking at weeds. Wrong. The pelican is fearsome. Take a raven, for example: it's omnivorous. It eats bugs, and seeds, and fruit, and carrion. Compared to the well-rounded citizen that is the raven, the pelican is the serial killer of birds. Not only is it a carnivore—it is a hypercarnivore. (That's a scientific term; look it up.) The pelican eats meat, and only meat. The pelican doesn't eat anything that didn't used to be alive. What's more—unlike an eagle or a falcon—the pelican almost never scavenges someone else's kill. It craves warm flesh, so it gets the job done itself.

Oh, it splashes around in the water and gulps down fish that are just swimming by, that's not hunting, is a thing that fools say. While it's true that the White Pelican dips its head underwater and scoops out the fish, that's not the pelican we're talking about here. The Brown Pelican is the state bird of Louisiana, and it's the only species of pelican that dives to catch its prey. The Brown Pelican is a raptor, without the stupid purple dinosaur logo.

It cruises above the water, its eyesight so good that it can see fish beneath the surface from 60 feet up. Then it spirals into a death dive, streaking down upon the unsuspecting prey before it knows what hit it. The last thing that fish ever sees is the light blinking out as the pelican's gaping beak closes around it, and it's swallowed—while still alive.

The pelican will eat as much as four pounds of fish per day, nearly half its body weight. Its bloodlust is insatiable. It wants to kill you and everyone you've ever cared about. Don't believe me? Here's a pelican eating baby ducklings. And because that's not cruel enough, it makes their mother watch.
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st thomas 12-07-2012 11:38 PM

Re: Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
What a read C mike.it sure schooled my asre.

Beastmode 12-08-2012 12:49 AM

Re: Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
If it's so good at catching fish then why does it pick flesh off it's own breast to feed it's young? That is one of the main reasons it was chosen as the state bird. A symbol of state government taking care of its citizens. If you look at the state flag that is exactly what it's doing, and it fits because 20% of La is on food stamps. Now how does that fit with sports?
I have no clue. Maybe the person who came up with the concept can answer that one. I'm not knocking Pelicans, I actually like them but we can do better. La is soo rich with history. I bet whoever started this didn't even bother to look and see what other great names that could have been entertained.

Here's one: The Mystic. That is the name of the first Mardi Gras Krewe in NO. Mystic: a person who claims to attain, or believes in the possibility of attaining, insight into mysteries transcending ordinary human knowledge, as by direct communication with the divine or immediate intuition in a state of spiritual ecstasy. This falls right in line with the Saints.

burningmetal 12-08-2012 02:43 AM

Re: Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
Pelicans eat things that are smaller than them. That is what most birds do. I've never worried about a pelican swooping down and trying to peck a hole in my head. It's not an intimidating bird, it's incredibly ugly, and the name just sounds stupid for a team. I've never even liked the fact that it's on the state flag.

CharityMike 12-08-2012 07:39 AM

Re: Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
I don't care for it either, just look at the other thread, but I did find it an interesting read and a good counter viewpoint.

SloMotion 12-08-2012 07:43 AM

Re: Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
Yeah, I now know more about pelicans than I ever cared too ... of course, next time I'm at the zoo, I will view them with a sort of new-found respect, :lol:.

Crusader 12-10-2012 04:22 AM

Re: Eff You, Pelicans Are Awesome: A Defense Of The NBA’s Best New Team Name
 
I had no idea. Pretty cool.


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