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Science Notes -- KFFL

Saints | Science Notes - posted at KFFL (http://nfl.kffl.com)
22:46 PT: Confirming an earlier story, the New Orleans Saints, in conjunction with a research team from Louisiana State University's Department of Nuclear Physics, announced that Grady Jackson and Norman Hand could no longer be permitted to line up next to each other.

"We were concerned about a meltdown," said Gordon LeBlanc, Ph.D., chair of LSU's Department of Nuclear Physics. "Their mass and relative gravities had increased so much, if they remained in too close proximity, the cross-section for them to collapse in on each other, attain critical mass and go nuclear became too great. In layman's terms, they'd melt into each other into one big ball, commence nuclear reaction and start to give off heat and light like our sun, and we just weren't comfortable with the consequences."

Saints Defensive Coordinator Rick Venturi, likewise a nuclear physicist, announced that one player would likely be inactive for Sunday's game against the Bengals as a precaution, but the team would consider again pairing them in the defensive line in the event they had to play a road playoff game in Green Bay in January.