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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
HASLETT LEGACY ENDS, BROOKS ENTERS RECORD BOOK
January 4, New Orleans- Jim Haslett, the longest tenured coach in New Orleans Saints history was fired today by 83 year old owner Tom Benson. He stated, "We have been very happy with Jim but it has come time for a change. The 6 wins this year is unacceptable." Benson also announced that Assistant Defensive Backs Coach Rick Venturi would take over the Head Coach position for the 2013 season. Haslett who coached over New Orleans only two post season wins in history was philosophical. "It has been a good run. I just wish it could have gone on a little longer. I think we were just getting to a point to really turn the corner", he said. Haslett will be paid the remaining three years of his current contract at nine million dollars per year. Haslett finished with 108-108 lifetime regular season record as the Saints coach. Longtime Saints quarterback Aaron Brooks went into the NFL record book in yesterday's 13-31 defeat by the Carolina Panthers. His two fumbles nudged him past Warren Moon who played for several teams in the 1990's for all time career fumbles. Brooks smiled and laughed for reporters when notified of his record 162 fumbles. "I'm da best that has ever been here, ya'll all know that. I don't see anyone pointing out that outta my 16 fumbles dis year 11 of dem we got back, and I got 8 of dem myself. That's pretty good to me." Though entrenched as the starting QB for many years some observers predict the Saints may draft a quarteback this year to groom as a replacement. QB Eli Hebert, son of former Saint Bobby Hebert, who graduates from Northwestern (La) this year and who is engaged to longtime GM Mickey Loomis' daughter, is thought to be a favorite. Haslett History 2000 10-6 2nd wildcard, 31-28 StL, 16-34 Min 2001 7-9 3rd 2002 9-7 3rd 2003 8-8 2nd 2004 8-8 2nd 2005 9-7 2nd wildcard, 27-24 Sea, 3-28 Phil 2006 7-9 3rd 2007 7-9 3rd 2008 9-7 2nd 2009 7-9 3rd 2010 9-7 2nd wildcard, 14-27 Wash 2011 8-8 2nd 2012 6-10 4th Brooks Fumble Record 2000 4 2001 13 2002 11 2003 14 2004 13 2005 10 2006 15 2007 14 2008 13 2009 12 2010 14 2011 13 2012 16 [Edited on 7/4/2005 by LKelley67] |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
Now THIS is a post that definitely doesn\'t dwell on the past, but looks towards the future. Bravo LKelley! :D
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
January 5, New Orleans- Yesterday after appointment as new Saints Head Coach Rick Venturi was assaulted by a rabid Saints fan. Upon entering his home with quarterback Aaron Brooks the assailant attacked him, screaming, and ranting hysterically. The man still not named, was identified as a member of a fanatical fan group called Black and Gold. He wore a black t-shirt with \'Fire Venturi\' in gold inscribed on it. Authorities have submitted him for psychiatric evaluation and are seeking his identity. Also arrested and released without charges was another group member waiting in a car outside. His name was not released but he also wore a black t-shirt with a gold inscription \'Brooks Must Go\'.
[Edited on 7/4/2005 by LKelley67] |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
When reached for comment, BMG\'s attorney, named only as WhoDat, said that this was a textbook case for the insanity defense. A Gallop poll in the New Orleans area confirmed that 97.3% of people surveyed who identified themselves as Saints fans believed that killing Rick Venturi was justified. However, a few select fans mourned the loss of Venturi. A small group was seen wearing bright yellow shirts with the word \"Sunshiner\" scrawled across the front was seen lighting candles and weeping in front of Brooks\' home. One such fan identified only as Billy said, \"It\'s a sad day in Saints history, but we still believe this team can be 13-3, with a top 10 defense. With the best QB in professional football, anything is possible, if onyl those other guys would stop holding him back.\"
[Edited on 7/4/2005 by WhoDat] |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
Developing story...
In a surpise turn to the infamous and highly publicized B&G Venturi Lynching trial, assailants FireVenturi and BMG may well be exonerated after the jury panel, comprised entirely of distressed Northwestern, Browns, and & Colts fans, visciously attacked prosecutors during cross examination. Research shows that the victim, Rick Venturi, had previously coached at each of these institutions. Chanting mantras of \"1 and 31 sucks!!!\" and \"we will never forget!!\", they surged en masse towards astonished district attorneys. On a side note, self-proclaimed star prosecution witness Aaron Brooks attempted to stave off the unruly mob with a chair, but fumbled the object before making a significant difference. Details at 8:00. [Edited on 8/4/2005 by LordOfEntropy] |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
2013 TP Headline:
Los Angeles Saints Win Superbowl. |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
and, in a related story, a member of b&g who goes by the name of smitty, just made it into the guinness book of world records with the oldest living dog in the world...the dog, know only as \"the dog\" could also predict the outcome of the saint games......however, when asked by a reporter who would win the next saints game, \"the dog\" just took a dump. stay tuned for a tragic story as leonard nimoy back for the 20th star trek movie, \"the return of the vulcan\" got his fake ears caught in a hair dryer and was electrocuted..........
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
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:yourock: |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
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When reached for comment, Aaron Brooks promptly fumbled the microphone before he could glorify his own status. Meanwhile, Smitty\'s dog\'s rejected an incentive-laden contract that would\'ve made him the highest paid dog in NFL history. Instead, he took another dump, and wondered why perrennial pro-bowler Fred Smoot wasn\'t drafted all those years ago. |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
way too funny...
In other related news, League commissioner anounced that Haslett, recently fired from the saints is being put into the Football Hall of Fame as a talent developer. This reporter has found that the reason is that every player Haslet has let leave the saints, has gone on to be a contributor to another teams playoff hopes. ALso, Late Breaking Story: \"the refrigerator truck\" Sullivan, a Defensive tackle for the New Orleans Saints, not only has just set a guiness world record for the heaviest football player in history-breaking the record long held by Fridge Perry...but has also set another record for the world\'s fattest man...weighing inat 800lbs. Sullivan had this comment for reporters: NExt year, I\'m going to be at my playing weight-- hey, you gonna finish that?\" Haslett, who has just been fired as coach of the saints, says that Sullivan was his best draft pick ever and was fully cabable of clogging the middle-he was just misunderstood. |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
off topic but if ya havent perused this site ya gotta. sully has a long ways to go.
http://<br /> http://www.dimensions...e/heaviest.htm |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
you guys are sick. :P very very sick....
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
Now THAT was fun!!!!! I hated to see it end. You guys crack me up. I was LMAO...even had tears, everyone at work here thinks I\'m loosing it as they listen to me LMAO.
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
okay, back on track...
January 6, New Orleans- Two days after the firing of head coach Jim Haslett more big shakeup has taken place. General Manager Mickey Loomis announced 36 year old Aaron Brooks had been traded with the 2013 and 2014 first round draft picks to the Cincinatti Bengals for the first overall selection in the 2013 draft and five time Pro Bowl tightend Zach Hilton. Brooks seemed to care little when questioned by reporters. \"Dey are some good players up dey. I tink it could work out da best for me havin a bettah supportin cast. I carried dis team a long time. Dey running backs are top notch fumble recoverers too I hyeah\". Hilton said it will be interesting to return where he started his pro career. He spent two seasons with the Saints but never caught any passes. The Bengals picked him up and he led the league in receptions two years later. After five consecutive Pro Bowls his production has tailed off from 66 receptions in 2010, to 39 in 2011, and 17 in 2012. Loomis said he was vital to the the deal for the locker room presence he will bring to the team. Loomis also made two major announcements concerning Eli Hebert. He officially announced the engagement of his daughter Ethel to the Northwestern college signal caller. he also said the team is officially beginning contract negotiations with the presumed first selection of the 2013 draft. Benson could not be reached for comment. Loomis said he would make a statement in the coming weeks after returning from a stay at the plush Senior Sun Resort Community in Scottsdale, Arizona. |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
and in other news..........
mickey d\'s has announced today total people and things served has reached one gazillion.............. the one gazillionist customer will recieve one gazillion dollars. in 2005 denominations, that comes to about 50 dollars.... when reporters asked how mcdonalds could continue to serve beef since it was outlawed on the planet in 2010, a spokesman had this to say........what\'s beef? a big mac at mcdonalds goes for about 120.00 dollars.... when asked about the prices, the same spokesman had this reply.......heck, anytime you can get a good meal at under 500.00 dollars, that\'s a bargain............now on to other news... |
2013 Times Picayune Headline News
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2013 Times Picayune Headline News
No, he\'s just back. He\'s done filming Epsisode III.
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