Life lesons
 

NUMBER 10
Life is sexually transmitted

NUMBER 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

NUMBER 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

NUMBER 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

NUMBER 6
Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still
can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

NUMBER 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying
of nothing.

NUMBER 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

NUMBER 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut
saves you $30.00?

NUMBER 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers—what you do today, might burn your
ass tomorrow.

As someone recently said to me . . .
“Don’t worry about old age—it doesn’t last that long”.

I laughed out loud. So true. :p

NUMBER 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

this is true.