skymike

I like all kinds of movies, from war & violence, to girl flicks (admittedly) and
especially love scary stuff, if its actually scary, ---loved Quarantine! Cloverfield, I Am Legend, War of the Worlds-- cmon, those boogers were outstanding--- they ate people and crapped blood vines, how cool is that???? And, as someone who already knows where theyre going in the End, I love End of the World movies, no matter what the understood belief system is in place. I'll enjoy the secular version and eat up the action, like voyeurs in the Coliseum.

Modern movies, more often than not, are usually disappointments these days, targeted toward the stupid, as most people in Hollywood are idiots, and assume we are too. Nevertheless, I bit on 2012, because, it was date night for me and the wife.

So the rumblings began. I love rumblings. I love it when its a normal day in Los Angeles, people doing their thing, watching ignorant stuff on tv, like Good Morning America, and suddenly, "whoa, Ethyl, did you hear that?" Meanwhile smart-glasses dude in the lab sees the little graph thingy go "off the charts," squints, and has to go over the data one more time to make sure. Then, its time to call his friend who works in the White House. And then he drives by homeless religious nut with "The End is Near" sign, and somehow always has to talk to nutjob conspiracy dude (this time its Woody Harrelson--- his worst acting job ever) to find out the real story. All the while, the movie references ancient ____(fill in civilization) who predicted with amazing accuracy that a movie about the end of the world would completely suck in the year 2009. All good end of the world movies start like this, and Im completely cool with it. The rumbling part can be really good and scary if done right. I love this part.

But like when youre trying to have sex, while the kids are making noise in another room, something kept irritating the crap out of me. It was what's his name---the lead guy. (his sister is an actress too) The kids were annoying, the step dad was gay, the mom was fine, and just needed to take off her clothes to help the movie get better. Anyway lead guy probably gets his ass kicked by Billy Crystal, but somehow he becomes an action hero in this--- stuuuuuuuupid !!!! Every second, when they're not boring us with his love-life problems, and irritating kids, he's driving just inches past the building which almost falls on him, and it just gets STUUUUUPID. Just comical. After a while, special effects just wear me out, when I know any 15 year old with a computer can do them. Its not like the old days, when they had to actually get Charleton Heston to actually ask God to split the Red Sea.

I dont know if the science actually works-- Sun activitiy microwaves the Earths crusts, creating nematodes (hell, I cant remember the actual term)
that destablize the crust, as heat brings the magma up to places like Yellowstone, where a super-volcano lies, and basically, the ground just collapses everywhere, and then super-mega-tidal waves (I refuse to say Tsunami- I dont believe in the metric system) wash the world away.

I can deal with all this-- it cant be any goofier than America-caused global warming. all cool. Also the idea of "floating arks," rather than the usual space flying escape ship, was rather bizarre, and cool. I like that.

What I dont like, besides the endless stupid special effects, lead-guy's ridiculous heroics, (at least you believe Swarzeneggar can break Ninja's necks) dumbass kids who need slapping, their boring love-life, just general horrible acting/writing, oh yeah, and also their attempt to mimic the DaVinci Code and National Treasure all in one.--- all this was awful enough, but they would escape one hazard, and go into this high-fiving,
laughing, banter ---after they just witnessed a billion people die.

It would be like narrowly escaping the World Trade Center on 9-11, and then they do something akin to to Scooby Doo dancing with Velma while wearing the "Ghost Miner"s mask, and everybody laughs.

Stupid, bizarre, and completely unbelievable.

I dont care about your little girls pants wetting or your love life, lead dude. 95% of the world just died in a horriffic catastrophe, which for all we know could happen again next football season. STFU and turn on the tv, so we can watch some cable news footage of all the horror.

This movie completely sucked, and while I admit, yes, my wife was looking outstanding last night, and I was ready to get home---bowpapockachow.... at the last 15 minutes, I just wanted this movie to be over.