REPS------------>U

Let's call him Guy...OK. Why? Well, when I was in the Navy, I met this guy named Guy. I got married while I was in the Navy, and he was part of the wedding...he was gonna be the best man, but my dad suggested that my oldest brother would be a better selection, so...father knows best.

Anyway, Guy was an OK dude...kind of a redneck from one of the Southern states...grew up on a farm. He once told us that pigs are smart animals...they think mud is clean. My wife: "Yeah...that's real smart, Guy." I almost busted a gut.

Why am I telling you all this....I don't know....except as a lead-in to my point. Guy had a thing for my wife. It was pretty obvious, but I thought it was kinda funny and didn't feel threatened by it or anything like that. If you saw Guy, you would understand why.

On my wife's 21st BD, I gave my wife some cheap piece of jewelry...remember, I was in the Navy and on a military salary. Guy buys her this gold plated lighter with diamonds and stuff mounted on it...must've set him back a C-note...about 4 times more than I spent.

That's why.