New Orleans Saints Forums - blackandgold.com

New Orleans Saints Forums - blackandgold.com (https://blackandgold.com/community/)
-   Saints (https://blackandgold.com/saints/)
-   -   I need advice. (https://blackandgold.com/saints/33542-i-need-advice.html)

AlaskaSaints 05-08-2011 09:32 PM

I need advice.
 
My wife's son comes home from the Marines for a week. He was with us at the game last fall that eliminated the Saints from the playoff. He's a lifetime Seahawks fan, you see, but his Mom is a rabid Saints fan. Well, maybe not... (read on)

He took it easy on me after the Saints' loss, because he knew the TRUTH.

Well, this morning I get up and my wife is on the couch with a cup of coffee...


She's wrapped in a Seahawks fleece throw!

Now, what I need to know is:

Do I just pack up my belongings and leave?
Do I torture her and take everything she's got WHEN I leave?
What do I do with the Marine for bringing FILTH into my home and ruining my marriage?

NOT FUNNY. MY LIFE IS SCARRED FOREVER.

Alaska

QBREES9 05-08-2011 10:05 PM

that depends, is that her in your Avatar ???? LOL

Danno 05-08-2011 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlaskaSaints (Post 298876)
My wife's son comes home from the Marines for a week. He was with us at the game last fall that eliminated the Saints from the playoff. He's a lifetime Seahawks fan, you see, but his Mom is a rabid Saints fan. Well, maybe not... (read on)

He took it easy on me after the Saints' loss, because he knew the TRUTH.

Well, this morning I get up and my wife is on the couch with a cup of coffee...


She's wrapped in a Seahawks fleece throw!

Now, what I need to know is:

Do I just pack up my belongings and leave?
Do I torture her and take everything she's got WHEN I leave?
What do I do with the Marine for bringing FILTH into my home and ruining my marriage?

NOT FUNNY. MY LIFE IS SCARRED FOREVER.

Alaska

Put the Saints Championship DVD in the BluRay and let it play all week.

AlaskaSaints 05-08-2011 10:36 PM

Good one, QBrees9. Good one.

But, NO.

AKS

Cory9289 05-08-2011 10:50 PM

Punch her in the face Will Smith style.

alleycat_126 05-08-2011 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlaskaSaints (Post 298876)
My wife's son comes home from the Marines for a week. He was with us at the game last fall that eliminated the Saints from the playoff. He's a lifetime Seahawks fan, you see, but his Mom is a rabid Saints fan. Well, maybe not... (read on)

He took it easy on me after the Saints' loss, because he knew the TRUTH.

Well, this morning I get up and my wife is on the couch with a cup of coffee...


She's wrapped in a Seahawks fleece throw!

Now, what I need to know is:

Do I just pack up my belongings and leave?
Do I torture her and take everything she's got WHEN I leave?
What do I do with the Marine for bringing FILTH into my home and ruining my marriage?

NOT FUNNY. MY LIFE IS SCARRED FOREVER.

Alaska

See the Saints/ Falcons Direct TV ad from last year and follow the Vodoo instuctions step by step. Since a Seahawk is still a bird it should still work........ LOL.

QBREES9 05-08-2011 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlaskaSaints (Post 298893)
Good one, QBrees9. Good one.

But, NO.

AKS

because if it was i'd say let it go LOL

Saint_LB 05-09-2011 06:21 AM

OK...here's what I want to know. You said, "my wife's son"...

It appears that he must be her son from another marriage...or did he piss you off so much when he became a Seahawk fan that you disowned him? :)

Seer1 05-09-2011 07:00 AM

Write the young one off as a potential victim of shell shock (there can be no other explanation for anyone to be a Seahawks fan). At any rate, anyone serving our country deserves a break. As for her, I would think wearing a Seahawk's fleece would be torture enough. Take everything, but that fleece and hit the road Jack. Do it quickly while there's still time. It's obvious she's on the verge of mental breakdown!

Luda34 05-09-2011 07:13 AM

Do a Ike Turner move slap the s#@t.

jeanpierre 05-09-2011 07:29 AM

Alot of Marines are @$$holes, but that's what makes them special; not entitled, but special.

Nonetheless, they serve so they get a pass.

God Bless 'em.

Is the avatar and wife the same? That's a good question...

Alot of women are pink jersey types (same ones who still wear the Johnny Damon Pink Red Sox jerseys after the Traitor went to the Yankees; the jerseys should have been burned and those still wearing them publicly mocked). They say they care but it's out of sight, out of mind for them.

It's actually you're fault.

The only non Saints merchandising that should be allowed in your house would be, as an example, a Seahawks jersey being worn by your step-son with the condition that if he puts it down/removes it, that it is immediately destroyed!

Kind of like those crazy sovereign nation/embassy courtesies that countries extend to one another.

You must defend your house!

Enjoyed your post! :)

SmashMouth 05-09-2011 07:57 AM

There is only ONE answer ....

WATERBOARDING!

http://robertbonnett.files.wordpress...pg?w=300&h=316


Funny story .... !

foreverfan 05-09-2011 12:04 PM

This has multi uses in situations like this.

http://pointlessbanter.net/wp-conten...2008/12/ky.jpg

st thomas 05-09-2011 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foreverfan (Post 298961)
This has multi uses in situations like this.

http://pointlessbanter.net/wp-conten...2008/12/ky.jpg

ha haaaaaaa. thats funny.

Rugby Saint II 05-09-2011 12:43 PM

If this goes too far don't forget to have an alibi. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never been a Saints fan.

Srgt. Hulka 05-09-2011 01:14 PM

Boy, you guys are tough. It's obvious she is suffering from some debilitating brain disorder. You can't hit or torture the mentally ill. She's sick and is screaming out for help. It was probably brought on by the shock of seeing her son, her own flesh and blood, in Seahawks gear and depression caused by the eternal darkness you guys suffer from up there in Alaska. I think it's time for an intervention. She needs to be taken immediately to New Orleans! She needs to be taken to a surprise Saints party or bar with 17 TVs, each showing a different game from the 2009 season. She needs New Orleans jazz and South Louisiana Zydeco music playing. She needs to drink a Hurricane or a Jax beer. She needs to be taken back to the hotel and have mad monkey sex while wearing a Drew Brees jersey and screaming "WHO-DAT". That and only that will bring her around. If none of that works...damn, I'm out of advice. I guess you're on your own.

:bng::bng::bng::bng:

Luda34 05-09-2011 02:37 PM

What you should do is wait until there both are gone and throw that Seahawk s#@t away or since you live in Alaska tell them a bear or moose broke in and s#@ted on there Seahawks stuff. That's it take all on the Seahawk stuff and s##t on it that will learn them.

WhoDat!656 05-09-2011 05:15 PM

First off, thank your son for me for his service to our country.

I had a similar situation that is still not completely settled:

My Mom sent me a Buccaneers Super Bowl t-shirt as a birthday present!!!

The only thing that kept her from being *****-slapped was being my Mom.

Deep down inside I still haven't forgiven her for that.

foreverfan 05-09-2011 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Srgt. Hulka (Post 298972)
She needs to be taken immediately to New Orleans! She needs to be taken to a surprise Saints party or bar with 17 TVs, each showing a different game from the 2009 season. She needs New Orleans jazz and South Louisiana Zydeco music playing. She needs to drink a Hurricane or a Jax beer. She needs to be taken back to the hotel and have mad monkey sex while wearing a Drew Brees jersey and screaming "WHO-DAT".


http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/jlv0017l.jpg

QBREES9 05-09-2011 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st thomas (Post 298964)
ha haaaaaaa. thats funny.

LOL I like it.

Choupique 05-09-2011 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by QBREES9 (Post 298880)
that depends, is that her in your Avatar ???? LOL


That would be a first in the entire history of the internets. Click, click.
Fantasy and reality are rarely the same thing and when it comes to avatars, it never is.

Just tell it like it is. The Seahawks uniform looks stupid.

AlaskaSaints 05-10-2011 05:06 PM

This turned out better than I expected. Thanks for the laughs, fellas!!! Some really good advice here.

Alaska

SmashMouth 05-10-2011 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlaskaSaints (Post 299218)
This turned out better than I expected. Thanks for the laughs, fellas!!! Some really good advice here.

Alaska

What were your expectations? lol?

Marlboro Man 05-11-2011 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlaskaSaints (Post 298876)
My wife's son comes home from the Marines for a week. He was with us at the game last fall that eliminated the Saints from the playoff. He's a lifetime Seahawks fan, you see, but his Mom is a rabid Saints fan. Well, maybe not... (read on)

He took it easy on me after the Saints' loss, because he knew the TRUTH.

Well, this morning I get up and my wife is on the couch with a cup of coffee...


She's wrapped in a Seahawks fleece throw!

Now, what I need to know is:

Do I just pack up my belongings and leave?
Do I torture her and take everything she's got WHEN I leave?
What do I do with the Marine for bringing FILTH into my home and ruining my marriage?

NOT FUNNY. MY LIFE IS SCARRED FOREVER.

Alaska

divorce her and marry your avatar:D

foreverfan 05-13-2011 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmashMouth (Post 299221)
What were your expectations? lol?

Yea... ask Daz about requesting advice from this board.


Quote:

Originally Posted by Marlboro Man (Post 299497)
divorce her and marry your avatar:D

The dude's in Alaska. They've never seen skin like that before.

My Wife came up with the proper solution but some people may be too cheap... ;)


http://cdn1.sbnation.com/fan_shot_im...704/banner.jpg

SaintsBro 05-13-2011 01:32 PM

yeah I was gonna suggest...get her an identical Saints fleece throw and then let the chips fall where they may, lay them both out and see which one wins "on the field" so to speak...my guess it would be the Saints one, and like most flash-in-the-pans, the Seattle blanket will end up forgotten in a closet or drawer, becoming a minor footnote to history ("where are they now?"), kind of like last year's Seahawks team and season.

QBREES9 05-13-2011 09:23 PM

I've got to get one of those Forever.

foreverfan 05-13-2011 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choupique (Post 299090)
That would be a first in the entire history of the internets. Click, click.
Fantasy and reality are rarely the same thing and when it comes to avatars, it never is.

So are we to think you have a fetish for black guys playing zydeco? :rolleyes: ;)

It's easy to see I like dead terrorists. :D

My avatars are usually where fantasy hits reality. :cool:

Quote:

Originally Posted by QBREES9 (Post 299842)
I've got to get one of those Forever.

My wife is having too many hot flashes to wear one. :???:

QBREES9 05-13-2011 09:52 PM

LOL FOREVER !!!!! I like it I like your Avatar is that Bin Laden.

AlaskaSaints 05-14-2011 03:59 PM

My wife discovered this thread and commented on my Avatar...

"Aaaahhhh..."

"Aaaahhhh..."

"Everybody's got one!"

You boys better be findin' yourself a sexy Avatar or that throw will be the least of my problems!

LOL

Alaska

SmashMouth 05-15-2011 09:30 AM

:bng:
Quote:

Originally Posted by AlaskaSaints (Post 299962)
My wife discovered this thread and commented on my Avatar...

"Aaaahhhh..."

"Aaaahhhh..."

"Everybody's got one!"

You boys better be findin' yourself a sexy Avatar or that throw will be the least of my problems!

LOL

Alaska

:bugeyes: You mean your wife doesn't look like that?


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:59 AM.


Copyright 1997 - 2020 - BlackandGold.com