skymike

SF, you and me are twins separated at birth. My mom was a pro rodeo rider, so she was always gone. This left me with Grandma, who had pancakes, pizza, fig newtons bought just for me, and no rules.

I watched anything that involved a football-- it could be Visible Changes U vs. Diesel Driving Academy-- and I'd have it on the tv with my Grandma's blessing.* She had a huge living room with green carpet (turf), and these big flourescent uplights at the side of the ceiling-- which looked pretty stadiumish. Of course, it was the Astrodome. I was Pastorini, and Ken Borrough, and the entire defense. Sometimes I went NCAA-- especially on saturdays, with a fully cranked up band in the stands. I'd be running going "DAHN DAHN--- DAH DAAAAAH!" (cliff nobles, The Horse)

Somehow, couches figured into any play that involved acrobatics. Yes, I was also the announcer, who went crazy at my amazing clutch last second catches. What had to be most interesting was the running plays, where I'd take the snap, as QB, hand off, and morph into the runner all in the same motion. I can still do this.

But it gets better. Then I would run to daylight, if I had any, until an imaginary defender pulled me down. Somehow I knew when I had a small gain, or a long OJ Simpson style (Earl hadnt came along yet) jaunt. Sometimes I even got slammed in the backfield. Dont even start me talking about my defense.

I've actually lost a number of my own imaginary games. Afterward, I, the head coach, would answer media questions... They didnt have that interrogation session you see now, with team logo sponsored background, back then. I spoke from the locker room, assuring reporters we would do better next week.

I won back to back Super Bowls for the Oilers, and yes, there were parades. except the parade came immediately after the game. (pre-empting 60 Minutes-- even as a kid I knew 60 Minutes was total BS)

When friends came along during the day, the big game moved outside into the cow pasture, or the BARN. Thats a whole other story.

Is this normal?

* here's how cool my grandma was. She always sewed my last name on my football jerseys-- about 5 years before anyone else did it with those ironed on letters. Grandma STICHED mine.

whoops! unthreadjack: ESPN is terrible. Lets change the channel.