whowatches

Michelle Tafoya. Michelle Tafoya?

Where are we? What is the state of the football marketing world when frustrated, married men in testosterone, Pabst Blue Ribbon and undercooked beef induced excitement are reduced to watching a knowledgeable, unattractive female "man" the sidelines of our weekly primetime male-festival?

I just said "male-festival"? I meant that, of course, in a completely Clint Eastwood, John Wayne sorta way.

I digress. Aren't there attractive, sensual women who could fill this role on Monday nights? Sure, Ms. Tafoya is intelligent and her questions poignant, but do any of you actually give a rat's left milk dud what she's actually saying? Really? Do we? How often have you sat back after a series of any side-line reporter's banter with the always pensive football player and said, "Wow, let me jot that down!" or "Hey, that's very insightful!" or "Oh my, I don't even care that she looks like a man." ???? You haven't That's because sideline reporters are useless. They only serve one of two purposes:

One: to give some washed up ex player a job because viewers would kill themselves if you put him in the booth for color or analysis (ie. Eric Dickerson, Lynn Swann)

Two: so horny guys can stare at a chick for a second cause the cameras always pan by the cheerleaders too quickly

That's it. The only two reasons.

I don't even care if the woman knows about football. I don't care if she even knows where or who she is. She needs to be a) pretty and b) looking like she's flirting with me.

No, I'm not drunk, just happy football season is here. I just want it to be perfect. Bring back Melissa Stark!!

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