Originally Posted by frydaddy
(Post 778952)
Ya know, what it is, is...and I'm sure you've heard this all before, but it's a rat race. I've been through it all, the throes of hell itself. I've had alcoholic seizures, I've been put in the icu..and it got me to thinking, and when I'm thinking, I like to have a nice salad with a baked potato that's got sour cream and chives. Well, they came to get me one day in the wagon..you know, the paddy wagon? Well I kicked the wheel off of one of those into outer space and said I like guns. And it reminded me of this time that I was speeding through the woods on my boat and the wheel fell off and I went tumbling down the magic mushroom trail. And when I got down to the bottom mushroom, I met the magic mushroom gnome who offered me the dust to go to the 6th dimension. So I asked him is it legal? And he said "of course it isn't legal!" So of course I wanted it. Then he's like "Well I gotta ask you a couple of questions first." So I say ok, go for it. He asks me "how many pancakes would it take to shingle a doghouse?" And I say 27, that's simple arithmetic. Then he says "ah, but what if a Volkswagen had handle bars?" So now I'm frustrated and I say you know what little guy? Your egregious, iconoclastic outbursts are a sad paragon to the ravings of a mind gone berserk. Your dogmatic view leaves little room for any real exchange of opinion...in other words, your opinion sucks. So he gives me the dust, and I take it, and when I get to the 6th dimension I find myself in a room, surrounded by 6 foot thick, seamless steel walls on all sides of me. And all I have with me in the room is a table and a mirror. So I looked in the mirror to see what I saw and I took that saw and cut the table in half. I put the two halves together and made a whole, I jumped through the hole, and that's when I realized...chickens don't have lips.
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