Scramble for the Ball: 2011 All-KCW Team

by Tom Gower and Mike Kurtz
I Wonder What Color the Carpet Is ...

Tom It is time for one of Scramble's annual traditions: the All-Keep Chopping Wood team. In addition to the weekly award named after Jack Del Rio's locker room experiment gone awry (thanks to punter Chris Hanson), Scramble for the Ball annualy picks a full starting lineup of players who did the most to help their team lose games in the year. Players are selected based on a combination of their on-field and off-the-field contributions to not winning games, with the ideal selection being a terrible player who is also a locker room cancer and gets other players in trouble.
Mike: Thank you, Tom, for telling us what we already know. Another important thing that your Scramble writers look for when choosing the AKCWT (that's A.K.C.W.T. for Tanier) is a level of consistent awfulness that undermines the competitiveness of the team, yet, for one reason or another, is tolerated. We try hard to fill out the roster with full-year starters, because it's very hard to chop wood while riding the pine. This also explains why the team is not merely all the recipients of this year's weekly awards. That, and the team would only have 18 players. And about half of them would be Blaine Gabbert. For the impatient or those who would like a quick reference, the roster can be found below.

Linebackers
Mike: I was going to go with Akin Ayodele, but we've already picked on Buffalo's defense.
Tom: Let's leave him in the bag and see if we can fill a team without him.
Mike: Of course, it's probably difficult to not fill the entire roster with Bills linebackers, so we should probably leave well enough alone.
Tom: There are some good non-Bills options. Casey Matthews was ridiculously overmatched for the Eagles, and I think he is a great choice.
Mike: I agree. May I suggest Scott Shanle?
Tom: Scott Shanle is a fine choice at outside linebacker.
Mike: Bad against the pass, bad against the run, and has not even rushed the passer for Gregg Williams.
Tom: What are you talking about? He had his first sack since 2008 this year.
Mike: Wow, a whole sack! I mean, you have to be really bad to look bad in the Saints defense, but he managed it.
Tom: I didn't think the Saints' other linebackers were anything to write home about either, but we'll just stick with Shanle. If we're running a 3-4, we could use another inside linebacker next to Matthews, and I suggest Keith Brooking.
Mike: Seriously?
Tom: Brooking is now in the Thomas Jones territory where his veteran savvy can no longer compensate for his declining physical ability. He's OK as a run-stuffer, but is almost hilariously bad when he ends up in pass coverage and did not have a sack to show that his pass-rush ability makes up for it.
Mike: Wow, I had no idea. Good call.
Tom: We need another outside linebacker. We could stay in the NFC South and choose either one of the Panthers' injury replacements or a member of the Bucs. I suggest either Omar Gaither from the Panthers or Quincy Black from the Bucs.
Mike: I don't think Gaither is really all that awful, so let's go with Black. I wish I could come up with a better candidate, but I can't.
Tom: I ended up seeing a little bit of the Bucs this year and think Quincy Black is a fine choice.