foreverfan

foreverfan

foreverfan

This kid is an Up and Cummer...
See if you can watch this and not laugh.

foreverfan

44Champs

I went to the doctor recently and he said "Don't eat anything fatty." I said "What - like bacon and fries?" And he said "No fatty - don't eat anything."

XLIV CHAMPS

foreverfan

SmashMouth

44Champs

A man goes to the dentist to get a tooth pulled.

The dentist pulls out a long needle for the local anesthesia.

The man says "Oh no I don't do needles!"

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and again the man objects.

"No way! The thought of putting on that mask is sufficating me."

The dentist then gives the man two viagra pills and says "Here, take these."

The man says " Wow are these going to help deaden the pain?"

The dentist says " No but you'll have something to hold on to when I pull that tooth."


XLIV CHAMPS

dam1953

On a flight from NY to LA, a 737 Max was cruising at 35k when a loud noise erupts under the right wing. The pilot comes over the PA and announces that the plane is experiencing engine trouble but not to worry because the 737 is designed to fly with only one engine.

A short time later there is a loud sound under the left wing. The pilot, in a panic, comes over the PA and tells the passengers that the left engine has failed and that he will try to glide the aircraft to a safe landing at the nearest airport.

With passengers screaming and crying a priest stands up and instructs everyone to lock hands in prayer, since they are now in God's hands. To this, a man in the first row tearfully tells the priest he was an aethiest and doesn't know any prayers. The reverend simply instructs him to just try and do something religious.

The man, brushing back the tears, stands, takes off his hat and walks down the aisle taking up a collection.

”It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin

dam1953

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asked?

"Hunting flies," he replied.

"Oh, killed any?" she said.

"Yep, 3 males 2 females." came the answer.

Intrigued, the wife asked, "How can you tell them apart?"

Husband: "Easy, 3 were on a beer can and two were on the phone."