Joke of the Day

dam1953 · 07-18-2019, 10:52 AM

A teacher noticed the a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down the the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her want he should do about it. He did this and returned to class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call you Mum!" she said. "I did" he replied, "and she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, she'd come and pick me up from school."

44Champs · 07-30-2019, 07:18 AM

Doctor: Well, it looks like you're pregnant.

Woman: Oh my God! I'm pregnant?

Doctor: No, it just looks like you are.

XLIV CHAMPS

foreverfan · 07-30-2019, 02:06 PM

WOODY AND BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!

dam1953 · 08-07-2019, 08:51 AM

I came home late after stopping to get a drink after work. The wife was none too happy and gave me the cold shoulder.

The next day, when she was getting ready to go to work, she asked me to hand her the lipstick and I accidentally handed her a glue stick.

She's still not talking to me...

st thomas · 08-09-2019, 07:56 AM

This idiot went into this frost bite freezer. His feet got frost bit, then he limped out of a hot air ballon.

44Champs · 08-14-2019, 07:12 AM

Genie: I will grant you two wishes

Guy: Two? It's always three, right?

Genie: Look at your crotch.

Guy: Wow that's a huge penis I've got now.

Genie: Yeah, I've been at this a long time. I know what I'm doing.

XLIV CHAMPS

SmashMouth · 08-23-2019, 08:04 AM

A man doesn't feel well and wants to call-in sick to work...

So he phones his boss and explains that he wants to take a sick day.
"Well," says the boss, "when I'm feeling under the weather I just ask my wife to give me a blowjob. Usually perks me right up! Why don't you try that?"
"Ok, I guess it's worth a shot" says the man.
About an hour later the man arrives to work looking like he feels pretty good.
"See!" says the boss. "I told that would probably work!"
"Yup - I gotta admit, you were right! You have a beautiful home, by the way."

foreverfan · 08-23-2019, 10:29 AM

dam1953 · 08-23-2019, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by foreverfan

And some of us did it without calculators...

foreverfan · 08-23-2019, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by dam1953

And some of us did it without calculators...

Calculators were way to big and expensive until in the 80s...

07-18-2019, 10:52 AM	#1511
dam1953 1000 Posts + Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: SW Ohio Posts: 4,645	Re: Joke of the Day A teacher noticed the a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down the the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her want he should do about it. He did this and returned to class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out. "I thought I told you to call you Mum!" she said. "I did" he replied, "and she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, she'd come and pick me up from school." SmashMouth and 44Champs like this.
	”It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin

07-30-2019, 07:18 AM	#1512
44Champs Site Donor Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 2,589	Re: Joke of the Day Doctor: Well, it looks like you're pregnant. Woman: Oh my God! I'm pregnant? Doctor: No, it just looks like you are. XLIV CHAMPS foreverfan, st thomas and dam1953 like this.
44Champs Site Donor Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 2,589

07-30-2019, 02:06 PM	#1513
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Re: Joke of the Day WOODY AND BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! dam1953 likes this.

08-07-2019, 08:51 AM	#1514
dam1953 1000 Posts + Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: SW Ohio Posts: 4,645	Re: Joke of the Day I came home late after stopping to get a drink after work. The wife was none too happy and gave me the cold shoulder. The next day, when she was getting ready to go to work, she asked me to hand her the lipstick and I accidentally handed her a glue stick. She's still not talking to me... SmashMouth likes this.

08-09-2019, 07:56 AM	#1515
st thomas Site Donor 2018 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: lafayette Posts: 7,753	Re: Joke of the Day This idiot went into this frost bite freezer. His feet got frost bit, then he limped out of a hot air ballon. 44Champs and aintasinner like this.

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08-14-2019, 07:12 AM	#1516
44Champs Site Donor Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 2,589	Re: Joke of the Day Genie: I will grant you two wishes Guy: Two? It's always three, right? Genie: Look at your crotch. Guy: Wow that's a huge penis I've got now. Genie: Yeah, I've been at this a long time. I know what I'm doing. XLIV CHAMPS foreverfan, SmashMouth and dam1953 like this.
44Champs Site Donor Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 2,589

08-23-2019, 08:04 AM	#1517
SmashMouth I donated, did you? Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Mandeville, LA Posts: 38,500 Blog Entries: 29	Re: Joke of the Day A man doesn't feel well and wants to call-in sick to work... So he phones his boss and explains that he wants to take a sick day. "Well," says the boss, "when I'm feeling under the weather I just ask my wife to give me a blowjob. Usually perks me right up! Why don't you try that?" "Ok, I guess it's worth a shot" says the man. About an hour later the man arrives to work looking like he feels pretty good. "See!" says the boss. "I told that would probably work!" "Yup - I gotta admit, you were right! You have a beautiful home, by the way." foreverfan and dam1953 like this.

08-23-2019, 10:29 AM	#1518
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Re: Joke of the Day SmashMouth and dam1953 like this.

08-23-2019, 01:33 PM	#1519
dam1953 1000 Posts + Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: SW Ohio Posts: 4,645	Re: Joke of the Day Originally Posted by foreverfan And some of us did it without calculators...

08-23-2019, 01:35 PM	#1520
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Re: Joke of the Day Originally Posted by dam1953 And some of us did it without calculators... Calculators were way to big and expensive until in the 80s... dam1953 likes this.

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