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Joke of the Day

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Old 08-23-2019, 09:23 PM   #1541
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:25 PM   #1542
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:28 PM   #1543
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:29 PM   #1544
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:32 PM   #1545
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:34 PM   #1546
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Old 08-23-2019, 09:35 PM   #1547
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Old 08-24-2019, 01:42 AM   #1548
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Re: Joke of the Day

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Donít u love it when your dog looks at u cockeyed.u no heís listening.
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Old 08-28-2019, 04:49 PM   #1549
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Re: Joke of the Day

An old priest lay dying in a Hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.

He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father,” replied the nurse. The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Chuck and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest

As they went to the hospital, Chuck commented to Nancy “I don’t know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.” Nancy couldn’t help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Nancy‘s hand in his right hand and Chuck’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face. Finally Nancy spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” The old priest continued... “He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same
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"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
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Old 09-04-2019, 07:37 PM   #1550
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Re: Joke of the Day

The Dr tells the husband and wife that she is termonally ill and that she will probably pass away that night. It's a very sad moment for both of them.

That evening when they go to bed, the wife says "Honey I want to make love one more time before I die." So they make passionate love for several hours.

About an hour later the wife says "Baby I'm going to miss you so much. Let's make love again before I die." Again they make passionate love until they're both exhausted.

Two hours later the wife wakes her husband and says "I need to make love to you one more time before I pass." The husband says "Damn it! I have to get up in the morning - you don't!"

XLIV CHAMPS
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