Knock Knock,
Whos there?
Boo
Boo who?
There is no need to cry about it!

Sir: Which is the most dangerous alphabet?
Al Bundy: ‘W’.
Because all “Worries” start from W.
Top Examples:
Who.
What.
Why.
When
Whom.
Where.
War.
Wine.
Whisky.
And finally…
Wife (Worries Invited For Ever.)

My missus asked me to make love to her like they do in the movies. So I stuck it up her arse and came on her face while shouting "TAKE THAT, *****!".

From the look on her face I'd hazard a guess that we don't watch the same films...

A man and his wife are driving along in the car when they notice a skunk lying in the gutter...

they stop the car and pick it up...

wife: "look its shivering it must be cold"

Man: "put it between your legs to keep it warm"

Wife: "what about the smell?"

Man: "hold its nose"

A blonde takes her broken car to the mechanic.....

"Nothing serious love, just crap in the air filter." says the mechanic.

"Brilliant" she replies.... "How often do I have to do that?"

Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?"

Husband proudly replies,"Only you Darling-with all the others I was awake!"

A blonde's dog went missing and she became inconsolable.

Her friend suggested, "Why don't you put an advertisement in the paper?"

She did, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you write in the ad?" the friend asked.

The blonde replied, "Here boy."

A boy asked his mother, 'Mom, why are wedding dresses white?'

The mother looks at her son and says: 'Son, this shows your friends and
relatives that your bride is pure.'

The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.

'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'

The father looks at his son and says: 'Boy, all household appliances come in white.'

A young fellow named Benny who was in the mob in Chicago confided to a friend that he was going to leave the mob and lead a normal life.

His friend said, "Benny, you can't do that. Nobody quits the organization. They'll track you down and kill you!"

But he did anyway. He moved to Los Angeles, grew a beard for disguise, got a regular job and got married. Several years went by and there was no problem with the mob.

So one day he decided there was no danger any more and went into a barber shop and had his beard shaved off. A few steps outside the shop he was spotted by a mob hit man and shot dead.

His grieving wife had him cremated and kept his ashes in an urn on the mantle. The moral of the story:

A Benny shaved is a Benny urned.