Joke of the Day
 

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest member she had ever laid her hands on.

I said "You're pulling my leg."

A huge hawk swooped to the ground and grabbed a small field mouse and gobbled him down whole. The mouse worked his way through the hawks stomach and intestines until he was able to push his head out of the hawks rear end. By this time, the hawk had flown high into the sky. The mouse looked down and said,

"Oh, my! Mr. Hawk, how high are we?"

The hawk answered, "Oh...about 500 feet."

The mouse exclaimed, "You wouldn't $hit me, would you?!"

LOL

LOL

I like the joke of the day idea...I'm gonna try to keep this going. My entry for today...

Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?















The first telephone Pole.

Jimmy Graham's Polish brother? :doh:

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures...-Cat-22654.jpg

How do you find Texas?

Go south until you smell it...and then go west until you step in it.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die and get
reincarnated you must come back as a different creature.

She said “I would like to come back as a cow.”

I said “You’re obviously not listening.”

An old lady in a grocery store approaches the man working in the produce department and asks, "Where are the potatoes?"

The man replies, "I'm sorry, ma'am...we're out of potatoes."

The lady goes off and shops for a few minutes and then comes back to the produce department and asks the same worker, "Where are the potatoes?"

He answers again, "Ma'am...I told you that we are out of potatoes."

The lady says nothing and goes about her shopping. About fifteen minutes later she comes back to the same man and asks the same question. This time, the man repies, "Ma'am...spell ball like in baseball."

The lady answers, "B A L L."

Then he says, "Spell cat like in catnip."

The lady spells, "C A T"

Then he says, "Spell frick like in potatoes."

She says, "There is no "frick" in potatoes."

He snaps back, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, lady...there ain't no frickin' potatoes!"