Joke of the Day

WhoDat!656 · 10-15-2011, 10:07 PM

PLEASE USE THE JOKE OF THE DAY THREAD FOR ALL HUMOR
THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE IT'S OWN THREAD!
_______________________________________________________________________________

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest member she had ever laid her hands on.

I said "You're pulling my leg."

Saint_LB · 10-16-2011, 10:54 AM

A huge hawk swooped to the ground and grabbed a small field mouse and gobbled him down whole. The mouse worked his way through the hawks stomach and intestines until he was able to push his head out of the hawks rear end. By this time, the hawk had flown high into the sky. The mouse looked down and said,

"Oh, my! Mr. Hawk, how high are we?"

The hawk answered, "Oh...about 500 feet."

The mouse exclaimed, "You wouldn't $hit me, would you?!"

QBREES9 · 10-19-2011, 01:01 AM

Originally Posted by WhoDat!656

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest member she had ever laid her hands on.

I said "You're pulling my leg."

LOL

QBREES9 · 10-19-2011, 01:02 AM

Originally Posted by Saint_LB

A huge hawk swooped to the ground and grabbed a small field mouse and gobbled him down whole. The mouse worked his way through the hawks stomach and intestines until he was able to push his head out of the hawks rear end. By this time, the hawk had flown high into the sky. The mouse looked down and said,

"Oh, my! Mr. Hawk, how high are we?"

The hawk answered, "Oh...about 500 feet."

The mouse exclaimed, "You wouldn't $hit me, would you?!"

LOL

Saint_LB · 10-19-2011, 08:45 AM

I like the joke of the day idea...I'm gonna try to keep this going. My entry for today...

Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?

The first telephone Pole.

foreverfan · 10-19-2011, 07:24 PM

Originally Posted by Saint_LB

I like the joke of the day idea...I'm gonna try to keep this going. My entry for today...

Who was Alexander Graham Bellski?

Jimmy Graham's Polish brother?

foreverfan · 10-20-2011, 03:45 AM

Saint_LB · 10-20-2011, 08:48 AM

How do you find Texas?

Go south until you smell it...and then go west until you step in it.

WhoDat!656 · 10-20-2011, 09:12 PM

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die and get
reincarnated you must come back as a different creature.

She said “I would like to come back as a cow.”

I said “You’re obviously not listening.”

Saint_LB · 10-21-2011, 06:37 AM

An old lady in a grocery store approaches the man working in the produce department and asks, "Where are the potatoes?"

The man replies, "I'm sorry, ma'am...we're out of potatoes."

The lady goes off and shops for a few minutes and then comes back to the produce department and asks the same worker, "Where are the potatoes?"

He answers again, "Ma'am...I told you that we are out of potatoes."

The lady says nothing and goes about her shopping. About fifteen minutes later she comes back to the same man and asks the same question. This time, the man repies, "Ma'am...spell ball like in baseball."

The lady answers, "B A L L."

Then he says, "Spell cat like in catnip."

The lady spells, "C A T"

Then he says, "Spell frick like in potatoes."

She says, "There is no "frick" in potatoes."

He snaps back, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, lady...there ain't no frickin' potatoes!"

10-15-2011, 10:07 PM	#1
WhoDat!656 10000 POST CLUB Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 16,062	Joke of the Day PLEASE USE THE JOKE OF THE DAY THREAD FOR ALL HUMOR THAT DOESN'T REQUIRE IT'S OWN THREAD! _______________________________________________________________________________ I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest member she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." foreverfan, jeanpierre, SloMotion and 1 others like this.
	Last edited by foreverfan; 11-01-2011 at 02:13 AM..

10-16-2011, 10:54 AM	#2
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	A huge hawk swooped to the ground and grabbed a small field mouse and gobbled him down whole. The mouse worked his way through the hawks stomach and intestines until he was able to push his head out of the hawks rear end. By this time, the hawk had flown high into the sky. The mouse looked down and said, "Oh, my! Mr. Hawk, how high are we?" The hawk answered, "Oh...about 500 feet." The mouse exclaimed, "You wouldn't $hit me, would you?!" foreverfan, QBREES9 and Mr.Riaton like this.
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894

10-19-2011, 01:01 AM	#3
QBREES9 Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New Haven Ct Posts: 23,985	Originally Posted by WhoDat!656 I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest member she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg." LOL

10-19-2011, 01:02 AM	#4
QBREES9 Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New Haven Ct Posts: 23,985	Originally Posted by Saint_LB A huge hawk swooped to the ground and grabbed a small field mouse and gobbled him down whole. The mouse worked his way through the hawks stomach and intestines until he was able to push his head out of the hawks rear end. By this time, the hawk had flown high into the sky. The mouse looked down and said, "Oh, my! Mr. Hawk, how high are we?" The hawk answered, "Oh...about 500 feet." The mouse exclaimed, "You wouldn't $hit me, would you?!" LOL

10-19-2011, 08:45 AM	#5
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	I like the joke of the day idea...I'm gonna try to keep this going. My entry for today... Who was Alexander Graham Bellski? The first telephone Pole. dam1953 likes this.
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894

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10-19-2011, 07:24 PM	#6
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Originally Posted by Saint_LB I like the joke of the day idea...I'm gonna try to keep this going. My entry for today... Who was Alexander Graham Bellski? Jimmy Graham's Polish brother?
	Last edited by foreverfan; 10-19-2011 at 07:26 PM..

10-20-2011, 03:45 AM	#7
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	QBREES9 and Beastmode like this.

10-20-2011, 08:48 AM	#8
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	How do you find Texas? Go south until you smell it...and then go west until you step in it. jeanpierre likes this.
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894

10-20-2011, 09:12 PM	#9
WhoDat!656 10000 POST CLUB Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 16,062	I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die and get reincarnated you must come back as a different creature. She said “I would like to come back as a cow.” I said “You’re obviously not listening.” Saint_LB, QBREES9, jeanpierre and 1 others like this.

10-21-2011, 06:37 AM	#10
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	An old lady in a grocery store approaches the man working in the produce department and asks, "Where are the potatoes?" The man replies, "I'm sorry, ma'am...we're out of potatoes." The lady goes off and shops for a few minutes and then comes back to the produce department and asks the same worker, "Where are the potatoes?" He answers again, "Ma'am...I told you that we are out of potatoes." The lady says nothing and goes about her shopping. About fifteen minutes later she comes back to the same man and asks the same question. This time, the man repies, "Ma'am...spell ball like in baseball." The lady answers, "B A L L." Then he says, "Spell cat like in catnip." The lady spells, "C A T" Then he says, "Spell frick like in potatoes." She says, "There is no "frick" in potatoes." He snaps back, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, lady...there ain't no frickin' potatoes!" jeanpierre likes this.
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	Whether you think you can or think you can't...you're right!

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