WhoDat!656

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. Or in a BMW Z3 or a BMW X3 like I have.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the *******’s name. Because he'll piss you off again and again until you stop him or get even. I outlasted almost all of my enemies at IBM and karma finally caught up with my CDSM a few years after I left. He also realized how much work I did (see #3) and offered me my job back as a contractor twice after I retired.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. It's like your job. Work gets heaped on the people who actually work. The better you are at your job, the more work you get to do.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them. Some people should have bounties on them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk. And with alcohol, women look better. They're all queens at closing time.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

mutineer10

I can only agree with pretty much all of this ... hilarious!

Mardigras9

so true

Srgt. Hulka

Helped you with #1.