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Is It Time to Sell Your NFL Team?

Football is the biggest sport in the country, by far. But there are worries the party is beginning to wind down.

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Congratulations. I’ve just given you an NFL franchise.

Now I want to know: Would you sell it? As in, unload it right now? Or would you hang on?

First, let’s assess the upsides. You own an NFL team! I suspect it’s your most high-profile holding. Maybe you bought it decades ago, and have watched it multiply in value, to the point you can’t believe how much Forbes says it’s worth. Maybe it’s a family team, founded by your grandpa, passed down through the generations.

Maybe you’re the dingbat heir who everyone says screwed it up.

No matter what, it’s mostly fun. You’re a big shot in town. People want to take selfies with you wherever you go, even if they ridicule you behind your back. You have the best skybox, the No. 1 parking spot, and before the game, you triumphantly strut the field, a monarch in Ray-Bans, and maybe one or two Super Bowl rings.

Your NFL team is your identity. No one cares what you did before—football is what you’re known for. Maybe you’re self made—you started a whoopee cushion business in your garage, expanded it nationally, eventually taking it public—but does anyone want to talk whoopee cushions with you?

No! They want to talk about the team. You are your NFL team. Your NFL team is you.

Here’s the weirdest part. Everybody calls you “Mr.” or “Ms.” Even the TV announcers do it, like they work for you—which technically, they kind of do! You haven’t been called by your first name in years.

Of course, there are downsides. When the team loses, the stink finds its way to you. Maybe you hired a bad coach. Or a dim GM. There’s always a player contract situation. Or five. Even if you’ve delegated all the work, you know how it goes. The buck stops at your custom mahogany desk.

The criticism is intense. Newspaper columnists are fools, especially the dope at The Wall Street Journal. Sports radio is worse. Johnny Calling From a Car thinks you’re a moron. A moron? What has Johnny Calling From a Car ever done? Did he start a whoopee cushion empire?

Even worse are those NFL owners meetings. They used to be cool—fly to New York, stay at the St. Regis, get a steak. Now they’re egomaniacal free-for-alls. If people only knew what self-centered babies some of these owners are.

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