spkb25

interesting take on lack of black coaches in the nfl. this mad me laugh. i hope you guys will like this. hey you can check out the article cause it had a little thing on the coaches in the league. it's is on the espn nfl home page

NFL owners should take 'Rooney Rulers' seriously
Wojciechowski
By Gene Wojciechowski
ESPN.com
Archive
click this

"So, Mr. Bingleberry, I understand you're interested in our head coaching position."



"It's Singletary, sir, but, please, call me Mike. And yes, I'm thrilled to discuss the job with you today."

"It's our pleasure, Mark. As a longtime NFL owner, I've admired your work with the 48ers."

"You mean, the 49ers, sir."

"Yes, yes ... the 49ers. Lovely area there in Nashville. A bit too humid for my tastes."

"Uh, yes sir. Anyway, how can I help convince you I'm the man for this job?"

"Well, you can start by helping me with this Sudoku puzzle. I never can quite figure out where to put the No. 4. Oh, wait, I think I've got it!"

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh, never mind. Where were we?"

"The head coaching position. I've prepared a 75-page analysis of your roster, its strengths and weaknesses, its needs in the upcoming NFL draft. I've also included a detailed explanation of my coaching philosophy, preliminary offensive and defensive schemes designed specifically to your personnel, skill sets, football experience, personal background, my prospective staff hires and appropriate references."

"Mack, I must say I am very, very impressed -- especially for a Rooney Ruler. And if 'American Chopper' wasn't on soon -- I love watching Mikey -- I'd be extremely tempted to actually read this."

"A Rooney Ruler?"

"My little word play on the Rooney Rule. You know, a courtesy interview. A fringe candidate."

"With all due respect, sir, I think it's important you examine the material. How else can you properly evaluate my candidacy?"

"Oh, my God!"

"What is it, sir?"

"It says here I might have won the Publisher's Clearinghouse!"

"Sir, if we could stay on point."



"Yes, you're quite right, Manuel. Tell me about some of the major influences in your life."

"Well, I'm a man of deep faith, convictions and hard work. I believe it was Rosa Parks..."

"Rosa Parks? Did you say, Rosa Parks?"

"Yes, sir, I did."

"I think I played in a member-guest there. Wonderful tract, though my caddy mis-clubbed me on No. 6. Said I could reach it in two with a 5-wood, but Jesus couldn't have hit it in two. So I laid up with a 6-iron. Or was it a 7-iron? I can't remember for sure."

"Sir, I think you owe me the courtesy of taking this interview more seriously. I've spent a considerable amount of time preparing these materials for our discussion."

"My apologies, Maury, but the sound quality on these iPod ear buds are outstanding. Here, I downloaded some Perry Como. Just listen."

"Sir, could we please turn our attention back to your team? After all, you've fired three head coaches in the last seven years. You haven't reached the playoffs in 11 seasons. And your attendance is eroding at an alarming pace."

"I demand to know where you acquired those figures!"

"Uh, NFL.com."

"Well, of course, Marvin, these are delicate matters. It is true we've encountered some fan displeasure, which is why I think it's imperative we hire a man with head coaching experience. According to your rÃÃâ€*’©sumÃÃâ€*’© here on Page 71 -- by the way, this is a very nice stock of paper -- it says you have no head coaching experience on any level. So, I'm afraid..."

"Are you aware Bill Belichick was never a high school or college head coach?"

"Is he the one with the sweatshirt hood or the bugged-out eyes?"

"Sweatshirt, sir. But Mike Shanahan's first head coaching job also came in the NFL. The same goes for Brian Billick, who used to be an assistant director of public relations for the 49ers. Between the three of them, they've won six Super Bowls as head coaches."

"And your point is, Mal?"

"Previous head coaching experience isn't a guarantee of success. Joe Gibbs wasn't a high school or college head coach, but he led the Redskins to three Super Bowl titles. In fact, 19 current NFL head coaches got their first head coaching jobs in this league."

"I'm sorry, Melvin, I was deleting spam on my Dell. You were saying?"

"Sir, enough is enough. I'm the assistant head coach and linebackers coach of the San Francisco 49ers. I spent two years as inside linebackers coach of the Baltimore Ravens. I'm a member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. I earned a Super Bowl ring while playing for the Chicago Bears. I'm committed to my family, my faith and my profession. I come to you not as a minority candidate -- as a way of fulfilling the NFL's Rooney Rule -- but as a legitimately qualified coach prepared to run your team. I'm asking you for your honest consideration, nothing more. I'm asking you to be bold, rather than hire a recycled coach. Nothing against the Marty Mornhinwegs of the world, but..."

"You know Marty Mornhinweg?"

"Well, we've met, if that's what you mean."

"Could I bother you for his number?"

Your team stinks