VIKING JOKES
 

Ok you creative Saints fans... I need some good jokes to post on my bosses door about his team losing. I am re-decorating his office with all my Saints stuff while he is out.

This is all I can find (Courtesy of Nola.com)
Caption This: WhoDat captures Brees and Favre before game | NOLA.com

What do you call a Viking with a Superbowl 44 Ring? A thief.

What’s the difference between a porcupine and the Metrodome?

A porcupine has 68,000 pri*ks on the OUTSIDE.

How many Vikings does it take to win a Superbowl?

Who F'n knows...?

Minnesota payed 12 million for Favre this year.

Talk about cash for clunkers.

arent the vikings as a team a joke in itself?

what about chili...that my friend is a funny joke...

I have a dirty Chilli joke that I'll save for SMACK.

What do you get when you cross a Viking and a queen? A gay dude who can't tackle! lol Geaux Saints

Q. How do the Vikings count to 10?
A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. How do you keep a Viking out of your yard?
A. Put up goal posts!

Q. Where do you go in Minneapolis in case of a tornado?
A. To the Metrodome - there's never a touchdown!

Q. What do you call a Viking with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief!

Q. Why doesn't St. Paul have a professional football team?
A. Because then Minneapolis would want one!

Q. What's the difference between the Vikings and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar!

Q. How many Vikings does it take to win a SuperBowl?
A. Nobody knows!

Q. What do the Vikings and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

HA!! HA!!

Come sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of fateful trip
That started from a small lake town
Aboard two tiny ships

The mates were a bunch of pole dancers
But the waitstaff was too pure
The Vikings team set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour

The action started getting hot
The dancers strutted their stuff
If not for the prudes in the fearless crew
There wouldn't have been such a huff

The boats turned around and went back home
The authorities came aboard
But fear not friends, 'cause all's not lost
The Vikings finally scored!

A Viking football fan was almost killed in a tragic horse accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the
K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
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Three football fans, one a Viking fan one a chiefs fan and one a packers fan were running from the cops. They hid inside potato sacks. The cops were searching to find which one to shoot at when the Packer fan in bag number one "made a barking noise". The second one (the chiefs fan) "made a meow". And the third one (Viking fan) said "potato".
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Wildcard playoff ticket... $65.00
Ahman Green replica jersey... $75.00
Round of shots for your pals to celebrate the Packs victory...$45.00
Mocking some shmuck wearing a Vikings hat...priceless!
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The Vikings and the Packers had an ice fishing tournament. The first day the Packers caught 100 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The second day the Packers caught 200 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The third day the Vikings were getting worried so they dressed Chilli up like a Packer and sent him with the Packs to see why they were catching so many fish and the Vikings couldn't catch any. That day the Packs caught 300 fish and the Vikings caught none. They said what's the deal Chilli, are they cheating or what's going on? Chilli said you bet they are, they are drilling holes in the ice!
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A Packer fan, a Viking fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train traveling through Switzerland when the train enters a tunnel and the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the Packer fan are sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Viking fan is holding his slapped face. The Viking fan is thinking, "That Packer fan must have kissed Pamela Anderson and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela Anderson is thinking, "That Viking fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Packer, and got slapped for it." And the Packer fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Vikings fan again."
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One day three football fans got into heaven, a Bucks fan, a Vikings fan and a Packer fan (dont ask how the Viking fan got in). When you get into heaven there are 2 rules. First is respect God, second is don't step on the pink clouds. So one day the Packers fan is walking along and sees the Bucks fan with a super ugly girl, he asks what happened and the Bucks fan replies, "I stepped on a pink cloud and now I am stuck with her, and she is ugly even in Tampa bay standards". Wow, the Green Bay fan thinks, I must be very careful not to step on one of the pink clouds! Later that day he sees the Minnesota fan with a girl, and asks him what happened and before the Minnesota fan can reply the girl blurts out "I stepped on a pink cloud.''

I like the saint Paul one and the possum..lol fabricate a fake SB ring for them.

You nailed it Saintfan!!! WTG!!!

* Brett Favre has become a grandfather. Or maybe he hasn’t. Or maybe he has. He’s still not sure.
* When Favre took his physical, under “known allergies” he put “training camp”
* Interesting NFL draft fact: Brett Favre is the only player to be drafted by an NFL team and the Confederate army.
* Yesterday Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner announced his retirement from football. Today Brett Favre called Warner to ask him how he is able to stay retired for so long.
* Brett Favre has yet to decide if he will return for another season. We wrote that four years ago, but it’s still true.
* Florida football coach Urban Meyer, who had resigned for health and family reasons, changed his mind 20 hours later after an emotional team meeting, an hour of practice, and a telephone conversation with Brett Favre.
* Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle Pat Williams says he’s “50/50″ on whether he’ll retire. Unlike Brett Favre who’s 50/50/50/50/50.
* Brett Favre has now beaten every team in the NFL. And retired from half of them.
* The Brett Favre Steak House has closed for remodling. When is reopens it will be the Brett Farve House of Waffles.
* Brett Favre added another record to his resume this week. The future Hall of Famer was said to be contemplating retirement for the 745th time, eclipsing the old mark held by pop diva Cher.
* Hall of Famer Joe Montana’s son, Nick, after years of watching his dad, will play quarterback at the University of Washington. In a similar story, Brett Favre’s son is quitting school and then re-enrolling, then quitting again, then going back for a year, then taking a break, then flirting with going back, then back to quitting but still studying a little, and then it’s just a guessing game.

Wow that some great stuff !!!

This is my new favorite thread!

:heart:

Q: What does a Minnesota Vikings player do after winning the Super Bowl????
A: He turns off his PlayStation and goes to bed.

This one is my favorite (My friend Kim, a Packers fan, sent me this one)

A man walks up to the Minnesota Vikings ticket counter to inquire about purchasing Super Bowl tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". The next day the man walks up to the Vikings ticket counter and inquires about purchasing Super Bowl Tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". This continues everday for two weeks. Finally the teller says in a very loud voice "SIR I HAVE TOLD YOU EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS, THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS DID NOT MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL, THERE ARE NO TICKETS FOR SALE". The man replies "I know, I drive from Green Bay everyday to hear you say that!"

You reminded me of a joke...

A little old lady was shopping and when she got to the produce department, she asked the clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" The clerk answers, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't have any potatoes."

The old lady goes about her shopping, and a few minutes later she shows up in the produce department again and asks the same clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" Again the man answers, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any potatoes!"

The lady leaves but again after a few minutes she shows up and asks the same clerk, "How much are the potatoes?"

This time, the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "ball" like in "baseball"?

The old lady answers, "B A L L".

Then the clerk asks her, "How do you spell "fish" like in "catfish"?

The little old lady replies, "F I S H".

Then the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "frick" like in "potatoes"?

The old lady says, "There isn't any "frick" in potatoes."

The clerk says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, ma'am, there ain't no frickin' potatoes!"

A Viking Fan is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Packer Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Viking Fan ignores the Packer guy who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Packer Fan: "You Viking folk eat the whole bread??"

Viking Fan (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Packer Fan: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Wisconsin, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Minnesota."

The Packer Fan has a smirk on his face. The Viking Fan listens in silence. The Packer Fan persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Viking Fan: "Of Course."

Packer Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Wisconsin we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Minnesota."

The Viking Fan then asks: "Do you have sex in Wisconsin?"

Packer Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Viking Fan: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Packer Fan: "We throw them away, of course."

Viking Fan: "We don't. In Minnesota, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Wisconsin.

What is a Vikings genie?




A fart in a coke bottle.

Q. What's the difference between the MINNESOTA VIKINGS & the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game

You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you? :???:

HAHA! I was thinking the same thing.

My first thought too.:-D

What ... we're not playing the Packers for the NFC championship?

Oh oh got a thread crush here! OK I love it too.

No jokes, per se, but you should just play off of his love of minnesota by emulating his favorite players:

Do you have that report I need?
AP- I GUARANTEE I will get it done

What time are you coming in tomorrow?
BF-Early, no wait, not at all. No, I guess I'll be here for the fun part, after my co-workers have done all the hard stuff

Will your department be profitable this quarter?
Yes, we have already taken a photo declaring ourselves champs

and lastly...
Why didn't you complete the project?
BC, w/ tears in eyes: Because the other departments worked harder and even tried to hurt us. It was like their game plan was to attack our strong point. Why would they do that? And BTW, I will still be crying about this months from now.

I love this thread!