Srgt. Hulka

Saints 14, Vikings 9: The 10 lessons for every Troll
Cold, Hard Football Facts for September 9, 2010

By Jonathan "Colonel" Comey
Cold, Hard Football Facts Genghis Khan of the Gridiron

The Saints bested the Vikings, 14-9, Thursday night in the first game of the 2010 NFL season. It was a slightly less dramatic contest than New Orleans' victory over Minnesota just eight months ago in the NFC title game.

But the meager offensive output and the knowledge that both teams will live to play another game doesn't stop the Cold, Hard Football Facts from drawing 10 very early conclusions from the effort. Hey, we all devoted three hours of our pathetic lives to this game. It's the least we can do for each other.

1.There’s no bigger home-field advantage than opening night for a defending Super Bowl champion
Want to know the last time the Super Bowl champ lost their opener? How about the 1999 Broncos, who, along the way, had lost John Elway to retirement and played like lost puppies for a month.

The Saints made it 10 in a row for the banner-raisers, and they certainly seemed to ride that momentum to seven magical points on the first drive of the game.

If Vikings coach Brad Childress had the cojones that his counterpart Sean Payton displayed in a little game called Super Bowl XLIV, he would have tried an onside kick on the opening kickoff to try and steal momentum for his side.

Hey, irrational criticism through the 20-20 lens of hindsight is a service we provide free of charge.

2. If the Saints play defense like that all year, they can book their flight to Dallas now
Yes, New Orleans got the Vikings at the right time, and no, the Saints weren’t perfect. But there were no low-scoring wins for the Saints last year – not one.

They won a couple of blowouts, but generally the defense bent at some point in each game. Not Thursday night – New Orleans’ defense was physical, kept Brett Favre confused all night, and forced Adrian Peterson to call on his best Madden 2011 moves to have a productive game.

Even without Darren Sharper, the Saints secondary was top-notch. And if DT Sedrick Ellis can emerge in the middle, the Saints are going to win 13-14 games again against a soft schedule.

3.The Reggie Bush/Pierre Thomas combo is a classic
Reggie Bush is no great shakes (725 yards from scrimmage last year, as we noted this week). But you have to love what the Saints do with Bush and Pierre Thomas. You can put Bush in there and run that wide-open, sometimes unstoppable passing blitz (first half), or you can put Thomas in there and just pound away (second half). Maybe neither is good enough to be a full-time player, but they fit the team nicely.

4. This time, the better team won
The Vikings only found success on either side of the ball with Adrian Peterson, Vicanthe Shiancoe, and perhaps the linebackers. Other than that, they were outplayed everywhere. That's not what we saw back in January.

In the NFC title game, the Vikings outplayed the Saints only to make key mistakes. Thursday night, it was the Saints playing with less precision (dropped passes, missed field goals) but with plain old better talent. Minnesota lost the battle on both lines and in the secondary, and shouldn’t have been within striking distance in the fourth.

5. Apparently, Deuce McAllister is Saints royalty
You can’t accuse the Saints of not having a big soft spot for their greats. First, they let McAllister re-sign with them prior to last year's playoff win over the Cardinals, apparently so he could have a couple last practices and retire with the Saints (he was inactive for the game). And there he was again last night, on the sidelines despite having no official role with the team. That’s a lot of love.

However, New Orleans native New Harry Connick Jr. deserves little much love after his shoddy pregame performance. In fact, we haven't seen somebody in New Orleans that disheveled, homely and out of tune since the night that the Chief Troll drank three Hurricanes at Pat O'Briens and then wrapped his man boobs around the stripper pole at the Hustler Club while doing his Karaoke version of Rod Stewart's "D'Ya Think I'm Sexy."

6. Bernard Berrian & BrettFavre are NOT the new peanut butter & jelly
Berrian started 15 of 16 games last year and was on the field just about every play Thursday night. But he's failed to connect with Old Yeller. Berrian finished the 2009 season with a humble 55 catches for 618 yards – way behind Sidney Rice or Percy Harvin, and never showed the big-play ability he flashed with Tarvaris Jackson in 2008 (964 yards, 20.1 average, 7 TDs). Last night, Favre barely looked at Berrian (1 catch, 3 yards).

7. Al Michaels broadcasting Saints games is worthy of a college drinking game
“New Orleans” is pronouced many different ways by people in different parts of the country, from "New Ohlinz" up in Boston to Arlo Guthrie's "New Orleenz" to "N'Awlins" in Louisiana itself. But Michaels’ peculiarly enunciated “New-or-lee-uns” is one of a kind. Unofficially, he said it 840 times Thursday night, which in a drinking game would certainly have led to a coma (well, except for the Chief Troll). If Michaels ever called the Saints “the Saints,” which is hard to mispronounce even in the vast variations of American English, it escaped notice.

Personally, if you might indulge us a moment, we like the way John Fogerty pronounced New Orleans: "Wishing I was some fast freight train just a choogling on down to N'Orleeeen."


8. Brad Childress made the worst challenge since Aaron Burr
OK, Burr actually got the best of it with Alexander Hamilton. But the victory over A-Ham ruined his political career and his reputation for the next 200-plus years. In the case of Childress, he lost when challenging what appeared to be a pretty obvious non-catch by his tight end, Jim Kleinsasser, in the fourth quarter. Had the Vikings been able to stop the Saints’ last drive, the lost timeout probably would have been too much to overcome.

9. Drew Brees is hype-proof
Brees is getting the kind of ballwashing previously reserved for Peyton Manning … but how can you begrudge him a second of it? On the field, he plays mistake-free football – his line Thursday was 27-36 for 237 yards and no picks. He’s played four straight high-profile, pressure’s on games dating back to the start of last year’s playoffs, and he’s thrown 138 passes with NO PICKS. And off the field, he’s rallying teammates, giving to charity, saving cities from ruin and holding that adorable kid aloft. Brees is the new face of the NFL, and that’s a good thing.

Read the rest: (there's not much)
Cold, Hard Football Facts.com: Saints 14, Vikings 9: The 10 lessons for every Troll

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, ...

DRsaints

Pretty good read.

Danno

Excellent. Extremely well done.

homerj07

"we haven't seen somebody in New Orleans that disheveled, homely and out of tune since the night that the Chief Troll drank three Hurricanes at Pat O'Briens and then wrapped his man boobs around the stripper pole at the Hustler Club while doing his Karaoke version of Rod Stewart's "D'Ya Think I'm Sexy."

AHHHHHH!! I did not need that mental picture. That is going to stick with me for a couple of days & I will probably scream each time I think of it!!

LBCutta

i enjoyed that.....great read

Halo

It's a great read. Actually, it is properly pronounced “New-or-lee-uns” which tells me the announcers and media have been down here so much they are becoming New Orleanean. In conversations it's correctly pronounced "New-or-lens" which most people hear.

We call it "N'awlins" in some neighborhoods or when we lazy and don't feel like saying it. We call it "N'awlinzzzz" when we drunk and about to pass out.

Al Michaels said it right.

Nobody says "New Orleeeenzzz" which is a dead giveaway that someone is from some foreign country like Fresno, California or that Nebraska place where they learned a lot about New Orleans from watching PBS and CNN.

Choupique

Man of us who live in Louisiana call it Yatville.

73Saint

Nola

foreverfan

The Chocolate City

73Saint

ROTFLMFAO!!!! You know, I saw a local ice cream at Rouses not too long ago, the chocolate flavor was actually "Chocolate City!" Gotta love it!