Jack Vegas

In this dream, the Saints went 16-0 and scored 50 points in every game. Then they faced the Patriots in the Super Bowl and beat them 63-7.

Roger Goodell enters the field, trophy in tow, to the loudest cavalcade of boos the Superdome has seen since Kyle Turley threw a helmet. Goodell looks like he just smelled a terrible fart as he hands the trophy to Joe Vitt.

Vitt refuses to grab the trophy, instead taking the microphone.

"I have an announcement," Vitt says. "On behalf of the New Orleans Saints coaches, players and fans, we refuse to accept your trophy."

Vitt spikes the trophy onto the field from the podium, shattering it into a million glittery pieces. Saints fans everywhere roar approvingly. The sound shakes the ground underneath the Superdome.

Goodell turns red as a beet and starts visibly shaking as the vein in his forehead bulges so prominently you can see it throbbing from the upper deck.

"Don't worry, Saints fans," Vitt says. "We made our own trophy."

Sean Payton sprints onto the field, holding the new trophy. Just like the old trophy, it's made of sterling silver and shaped like a pyramid. Instead of a football on top, there is a fleur de lis. Halfway up the base, there is a protruding hand, middle finger extended high in the air.

"Hi Roger," Sean Payton says. "Just wanted you to see our new trophy. Isn't it beautiful?!"

He points to the inscription on the base, which reads "Super Bowl F U."

Payton, Loomis, Vitt and all the Saints players and fans enjoy a hearty chuckle as Goodell shakes with anger.

But the surprises aren't over, the Saints announce that they are leaving the NFL to join the USFL. Soon the Steelers, Cowboys, Giants, Patriots, Jets, Packers and Redskins join the new league.

Two days later Goodell is arrested by the NOPD for soliciting a transvestite prostitute the night before the Super Bowl. In court, the judge informs Goodell that they have no evidence he actually solicited said prostitute, but you know, who needs evidence these days?

Goodell is shackled and led away to a 30-day jail sentence, and is soon fired in disgrace.

Two months later, Mickey Loomis wins a defamation lawsuit against ESPN. With his damage money, he buys the network, renames it to FUNFL, fires every single anchor and personality in its employ, and uses the station to broadcast the 2009 NFC Championship game on a loop, 24-7. The NFL is extinct within 5 years.

The Saints go on to win 20 consecutive USFL championships.