tombenson

Read anything interesting lately? Ha Ha! I warned you people! I said that if the criticism persisted I’d put out a letter indicating my New Orleans sympathies. And, look at what’s happening! All my little sheep are returning home to the pasture to graze!

Hello once again, my maligned little market,

It is I, your sun, and, with that letter, I gave you the tiniest ray of hope to bask in. And, you have. Each and every one of you. You have poured over every word and deciphered every sentiment expressed. And, when you were finished, against better judgment and common sense, you believed me. Why? Because you so desperately want to.

I knew what you wanted. I knew it before any of you did. I knew it when you were running around spray painting refrigerators. I knew it when you were crying like a woman scorned, screaming “Let them go� and “give us the Cleveland Plan!� But, that wasn't what you wanted, New Orleans. No, no, no. Like all women scorned, you wanted some flowers, a hug, and a little note.

So, I wrote you a love letter. And, tell the truth, you feel a little warmer inside.

Oh, my poor little checkbooks, you don't want to see me leave New Orleans. For you know that, when I do, I'm taking the Saints name, logo, and indeed NFL football. I know Paul Tagliabue personally, and, trust me, he’d sooner urinate on Wellington Mara’s corpse than award New Orleans another expansion team. Oh, the NFL might say they’ll consider it in 5 or 10 years, but who’ll care about Katrina then?

So, now, you can all run out and buy a ticket to the Saints-Dolphins game rejoicing in the fact that I’ve promised you…ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! In fact, all I did was recycle and return in kind the same sobby, sentimental B.S. that the local and national media has flung my way for the past week.

Didn’t you almost feel sorry for me? A poor NFL owner unwillingly cast from his training facility, having to choose between skipping the season or persevering in the spirit of the fans.

Oh, I’m good. I’m DAMN good.

Notice how I waited until I fired Fielkow and committed to relocation talks with San Antonio, before I issued my statement. You know why? Because the only thing people in the media care about is the last word, and I just had it. Now, my ducks are all in a row, and the national media will be going back to sleep, so far as this little matter is concerned. Everyone will concentrate on the game, and the fans' reaction to Tom Benson in light of my statement.

Oh, but the game still won’t be a sell out.

And, oh, I’m still coming to San Antonio.

And, oh, Phil still thinks that San Antonio would make a great host for Mardi Gras 2006! What’s that, Phil? Show my tits?!? Phil you are CRAZY! Ha Ha!!! How ‘bout you and me make a little withdrawal from the Saints’ Hurricane Katrina Relief Fund, and score ourselves a couple of blowjobs over at the Penthouse Club? Let’s boogie, baby! Who Dat, who dat, who dat, dat, dat…YEAH!

TheDeuce

Classic. I'm starting to like this tombenson guy...

Halo

You know I have to admit, I actually look forward to reading this guy post. Whoever you are, that's talent. Tombenson is definitely on the leader board. I laughed so hard I almost cried for a second at the urinating on the corpse bit.

Classic.