TeamCowboys

I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan (that's the part where you scoff, roll your eyes, or express some other emotion of disgust, pity and contempt). I come mostly in peace, caffeine and confusion, but those last two are normal.

I'm betting NBC is regretting scheduling this one, lmao. #WeeDenBoyz vs the Brees-less Saints? Or they're Breesy, I don't know yet. Is Brees playing? Will that all too familiar Cool-Brees flow through the roofed Merc-dome? Will it be healthy if it does? Or is McCown going to simply a better option at this point because of health? He does have a commercial.

I would love to proclaim that Dallas has the advantage in this game, but we simply do not know. Our coaches are familiar with fatter Ryan, so that helps. But then again, if Smokin Weeden doesn't throw the ball more than four yards, Flabbio will shut down our offense the way ATL did last week.

I don't know whether to be terribly afraid of your offense or not. Brees playing, and playing healthy, will be a determining factor. It also depends how our Jekyll and Hyde defense performs; 85 Bears or 2013 Dallas Cowboys (terrible flashbacks occur), there is no in between. Oh no, we don't switch that up between games. We switch it up between quarters and individual drives too. Gangsta Garrett and Marinelli keeping things fresh.

Watch out for Lance Dunbar and Cole Beasley. I don't know what is up with Terrance Williams right now, our #1 WR, but Romo-less, Dez-less Williams isn't so great. Dunbar and Beasley will catch a lot of underneath passes, because The Crimson Cannon can check-down with the best of them. Also watch out for Gavin "Pablo" Escobar, our big, athletic, mis-match nightmare TE who catches everything that comes his way and never really does anything.

So now, if you will be so kind as to enlighten me, tell me something about the Saints I don't know. Who is an unknown player I should watch out for, one that doesn't make the highlight reel every week? How do you envision the Big Lebowski slowing down the 102 RAT Weeden? And how will your offense attack our, well, whatever we trot out on the field Sunday night?

Good Luck, New Orleans. Here's to an entertaining, legendary game no matter the outcome.