Savant

Jason David and Aaron Brooks mutant love child. Just imagine: He takes a 10 step drop and hits himself on a slant(which is only completed because he can't cover any one man to man much less himself). He promptly hurls the ball behind himself 15 yards in the other direction for no apparent reason.

This is were it gets good.

He recovers his own fumble but can't make the tackle because he aimed for a phantom third arm. Suddenly an actual football player comes along and stops the madness.

But wait....

...there's offsetting penalties and the down has to be replayed.

This is football hell that not even I could make up.