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A little old lady was shopping and when she got to the produce department, she asked the clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" The clerk answers, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't have any potatoes." The old lady goes about her shopping, and a few minutes later she shows up in the produce department again and asks the same clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" Again the man answers, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any potatoes!" The lady leaves but again after a few minutes she shows up and asks the same clerk, "How much are the potatoes?" This time, the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "ball" like in "baseball"? The old lady answers, "B A L L". Then the clerk asks her, "How do you spell "fish" like in "catfish"? The little old lady replies, "F I S H". Then the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "frick" like in "potatoes"? The old lady says, "There isn't any "frick" in potatoes." The clerk says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, ma'am, there ain't no frickin' potatoes!" |
A Viking Fan is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Packer Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The Viking Fan ignores the Packer guy who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Packer Fan: "You Viking folk eat the whole bread??" Viking Fan (in a bad mood): "Of course." Packer Fan: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Wisconsin, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Minnesota." The Packer Fan has a smirk on his face. The Viking Fan listens in silence. The Packer Fan persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??" Viking Fan: "Of Course." Packer Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Wisconsin we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Minnesota." The Viking Fan then asks: "Do you have sex in Wisconsin?" Packer Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Viking Fan: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Packer Fan: "We throw them away, of course." Viking Fan: "We don't. In Minnesota, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Wisconsin. |
What is a Vikings genie?
A fart in a coke bottle. |
Q. What's the difference between the MINNESOTA VIKINGS & the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game |
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HAHA! I was thinking the same thing. |
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No jokes, per se, but you should just play off of his love of minnesota by emulating his favorite players:
Do you have that report I need? AP- I GUARANTEE I will get it done What time are you coming in tomorrow? BF-Early, no wait, not at all. No, I guess I'll be here for the fun part, after my co-workers have done all the hard stuff Will your department be profitable this quarter? Yes, we have already taken a photo declaring ourselves champs and lastly... Why didn't you complete the project? BC, w/ tears in eyes: Because the other departments worked harder and even tried to hurt us. It was like their game plan was to attack our strong point. Why would they do that? And BTW, I will still be crying about this months from now. |
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