VIKING JOKES

homerj07 · 09-10-2010, 08:31 PM

HA!! HA!!

saintfan · 09-10-2010, 08:33 PM

saintfan · 09-10-2010, 08:35 PM

Come sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of fateful trip
That started from a small lake town
Aboard two tiny ships

The mates were a bunch of pole dancers
But the waitstaff was too pure
The Vikings team set sail that day
For a three hour tour, a three hour tour

The action started getting hot
The dancers strutted their stuff
If not for the prudes in the fearless crew
There wouldn't have been such a huff

The boats turned around and went back home
The authorities came aboard
But fear not friends, 'cause all's not lost
The Vikings finally scored!

saintfan · 09-10-2010, 08:39 PM

A Viking football fan was almost killed in a tragic horse accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the
K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
----------------
Three football fans, one a Viking fan one a chiefs fan and one a packers fan were running from the cops. They hid inside potato sacks. The cops were searching to find which one to shoot at when the Packer fan in bag number one "made a barking noise". The second one (the chiefs fan) "made a meow". And the third one (Viking fan) said "potato".
----------------
Wildcard playoff ticket... $65.00
Ahman Green replica jersey... $75.00
Round of shots for your pals to celebrate the Packs victory...$45.00
Mocking some shmuck wearing a Vikings hat...priceless!
----------------
The Vikings and the Packers had an ice fishing tournament. The first day the Packers caught 100 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The second day the Packers caught 200 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The third day the Vikings were getting worried so they dressed Chilli up like a Packer and sent him with the Packs to see why they were catching so many fish and the Vikings couldn't catch any. That day the Packs caught 300 fish and the Vikings caught none. They said what's the deal Chilli, are they cheating or what's going on? Chilli said you bet they are, they are drilling holes in the ice!
----------------
A Packer fan, a Viking fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train traveling through Switzerland when the train enters a tunnel and the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the Packer fan are sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Viking fan is holding his slapped face. The Viking fan is thinking, "That Packer fan must have kissed Pamela Anderson and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela Anderson is thinking, "That Viking fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Packer, and got slapped for it." And the Packer fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Vikings fan again."
----------------
One day three football fans got into heaven, a Bucks fan, a Vikings fan and a Packer fan (dont ask how the Viking fan got in). When you get into heaven there are 2 rules. First is respect God, second is don't step on the pink clouds. So one day the Packers fan is walking along and sees the Bucks fan with a super ugly girl, he asks what happened and the Bucks fan replies, "I stepped on a pink cloud and now I am stuck with her, and she is ugly even in Tampa bay standards". Wow, the Green Bay fan thinks, I must be very careful not to step on one of the pink clouds! Later that day he sees the Minnesota fan with a girl, and asks him what happened and before the Minnesota fan can reply the girl blurts out "I stepped on a pink cloud.''

Pete · 09-10-2010, 08:49 PM

I like the saint Paul one and the possum..lol fabricate a fake SB ring for them.

pumpkindriver · 09-10-2010, 10:06 PM

You nailed it Saintfan!!! WTG!!!

DblBogey · 09-10-2010, 10:38 PM

* Brett Favre has become a grandfather. Or maybe he hasn’t. Or maybe he has. He’s still not sure.
* When Favre took his physical, under “known allergies” he put “training camp”
* Interesting NFL draft fact: Brett Favre is the only player to be drafted by an NFL team and the Confederate army.
* Yesterday Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner announced his retirement from football. Today Brett Favre called Warner to ask him how he is able to stay retired for so long.
* Brett Favre has yet to decide if he will return for another season. We wrote that four years ago, but it’s still true.
* Florida football coach Urban Meyer, who had resigned for health and family reasons, changed his mind 20 hours later after an emotional team meeting, an hour of practice, and a telephone conversation with Brett Favre.
* Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle Pat Williams says he’s “50/50″ on whether he’ll retire. Unlike Brett Favre who’s 50/50/50/50/50.
* Brett Favre has now beaten every team in the NFL. And retired from half of them.
* The Brett Favre Steak House has closed for remodling. When is reopens it will be the Brett Farve House of Waffles.
* Brett Favre added another record to his resume this week. The future Hall of Famer was said to be contemplating retirement for the 745th time, eclipsing the old mark held by pop diva Cher.
* Hall of Famer Joe Montana’s son, Nick, after years of watching his dad, will play quarterback at the University of Washington. In a similar story, Brett Favre’s son is quitting school and then re-enrolling, then quitting again, then going back for a year, then taking a break, then flirting with going back, then back to quitting but still studying a little, and then it’s just a guessing game.

QBREES9 · 09-11-2010, 12:35 AM

Wow that some great stuff !!!

breesfan27 · 09-11-2010, 04:27 AM

This is my new favorite thread!

breesfan27 · 09-11-2010, 04:36 AM

Q: What does a Minnesota Vikings player do after winning the Super Bowl????
A: He turns off his PlayStation and goes to bed.

This one is my favorite (My friend Kim, a Packers fan, sent me this one)

A man walks up to the Minnesota Vikings ticket counter to inquire about purchasing Super Bowl tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". The next day the man walks up to the Vikings ticket counter and inquires about purchasing Super Bowl Tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". This continues everday for two weeks. Finally the teller says in a very loud voice "SIR I HAVE TOLD YOU EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS, THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS DID NOT MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL, THERE ARE NO TICKETS FOR SALE". The man replies "I know, I drive from Green Bay everyday to hear you say that!"

09-10-2010, 08:35 PM	#13
saintfan Donated Plasma Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 18,556 Blog Entries: 5	Come sit right back and you'll hear a tale A tale of fateful trip That started from a small lake town Aboard two tiny ships The mates were a bunch of pole dancers But the waitstaff was too pure The Vikings team set sail that day For a three hour tour, a three hour tour The action started getting hot The dancers strutted their stuff If not for the prudes in the fearless crew There wouldn't have been such a huff The boats turned around and went back home The authorities came aboard But fear not friends, 'cause all's not lost The Vikings finally scored!
	C'mon Man...

09-10-2010, 08:39 PM	#14
saintfan Donated Plasma Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 18,556 Blog Entries: 5	A Viking football fan was almost killed in a tragic horse accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it. ---------------- Three football fans, one a Viking fan one a chiefs fan and one a packers fan were running from the cops. They hid inside potato sacks. The cops were searching to find which one to shoot at when the Packer fan in bag number one "made a barking noise". The second one (the chiefs fan) "made a meow". And the third one (Viking fan) said "potato". ---------------- Wildcard playoff ticket... $65.00 Ahman Green replica jersey... $75.00 Round of shots for your pals to celebrate the Packs victory...$45.00 Mocking some shmuck wearing a Vikings hat...priceless! ---------------- The Vikings and the Packers had an ice fishing tournament. The first day the Packers caught 100 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The second day the Packers caught 200 fish and the Vikings didn't catch any. The third day the Vikings were getting worried so they dressed Chilli up like a Packer and sent him with the Packs to see why they were catching so many fish and the Vikings couldn't catch any. That day the Packs caught 300 fish and the Vikings caught none. They said what's the deal Chilli, are they cheating or what's going on? Chilli said you bet they are, they are drilling holes in the ice! ---------------- A Packer fan, a Viking fan, and Pamela Anderson are sitting together in a train traveling through Switzerland when the train enters a tunnel and the car goes completely dark. There's a kissing noise, and then the sound of a really loud slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, Pamela Anderson and the Packer fan are sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Viking fan is holding his slapped face. The Viking fan is thinking, "That Packer fan must have kissed Pamela Anderson and she swung at him and missed, slapping me instead." Pamela Anderson is thinking, "That Viking fan must have tried to kiss me, accidentally kissed the Packer, and got slapped for it." And the Packer fan is thinking, "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Vikings fan again." ---------------- One day three football fans got into heaven, a Bucks fan, a Vikings fan and a Packer fan (dont ask how the Viking fan got in). When you get into heaven there are 2 rules. First is respect God, second is don't step on the pink clouds. So one day the Packers fan is walking along and sees the Bucks fan with a super ugly girl, he asks what happened and the Bucks fan replies, "I stepped on a pink cloud and now I am stuck with her, and she is ugly even in Tampa bay standards". Wow, the Green Bay fan thinks, I must be very careful not to step on one of the pink clouds! Later that day he sees the Minnesota fan with a girl, and asks him what happened and before the Minnesota fan can reply the girl blurts out "I stepped on a pink cloud.''
	C'mon Man...

09-10-2010, 10:38 PM	#17
DblBogey 500th Post Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 538	* Brett Favre has become a grandfather. Or maybe he hasn’t. Or maybe he has. He’s still not sure. * When Favre took his physical, under “known allergies” he put “training camp” * Interesting NFL draft fact: Brett Favre is the only player to be drafted by an NFL team and the Confederate army. * Yesterday Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner announced his retirement from football. Today Brett Favre called Warner to ask him how he is able to stay retired for so long. * Brett Favre has yet to decide if he will return for another season. We wrote that four years ago, but it’s still true. * Florida football coach Urban Meyer, who had resigned for health and family reasons, changed his mind 20 hours later after an emotional team meeting, an hour of practice, and a telephone conversation with Brett Favre. * Minnesota Vikings defensive tackle Pat Williams says he’s “50/50″ on whether he’ll retire. Unlike Brett Favre who’s 50/50/50/50/50. * Brett Favre has now beaten every team in the NFL. And retired from half of them. * The Brett Favre Steak House has closed for remodling. When is reopens it will be the Brett Farve House of Waffles. * Brett Favre added another record to his resume this week. The future Hall of Famer was said to be contemplating retirement for the 745th time, eclipsing the old mark held by pop diva Cher. * Hall of Famer Joe Montana’s son, Nick, after years of watching his dad, will play quarterback at the University of Washington. In a similar story, Brett Favre’s son is quitting school and then re-enrolling, then quitting again, then going back for a year, then taking a break, then flirting with going back, then back to quitting but still studying a little, and then it’s just a guessing game.
DblBogey 500th Post Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 538	Hey Goodell . . . This year we will kick ass for free!

09-11-2010, 04:36 AM	#20
breesfan27 Mrs. Drew Brees Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Who Dat Nation (by way of South Dakota) Posts: 2,276 Blog Entries: 1	Q: What does a Minnesota Vikings player do after winning the Super Bowl???? A: He turns off his PlayStation and goes to bed. This one is my favorite (My friend Kim, a Packers fan, sent me this one) A man walks up to the Minnesota Vikings ticket counter to inquire about purchasing Super Bowl tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". The next day the man walks up to the Vikings ticket counter and inquires about purchasing Super Bowl Tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". This continues everday for two weeks. Finally the teller says in a very loud voice "SIR I HAVE TOLD YOU EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS, THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS DID NOT MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL, THERE ARE NO TICKETS FOR SALE". The man replies "I know, I drive from Green Bay everyday to hear you say that!"
	A House Divided Follow me on Twitter

09-10-2010, 08:31 PM	#11
homerj07 In Doh We Trust Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Central Florida Posts: 7,027 Blog Entries: 16	HA!! HA!!

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09-10-2010, 08:33 PM	#12
saintfan Donated Plasma Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 18,556 Blog Entries: 5

09-10-2010, 08:49 PM	#15
Pete • Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Patterson, LA Posts: 1,753	I like the saint Paul one and the possum..lol fabricate a fake SB ring for them.

09-10-2010, 10:06 PM	#16
pumpkindriver 500th Post Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Killeen, Tx. Posts: 932	You nailed it Saintfan!!! WTG!!!

09-11-2010, 12:35 AM	#18
QBREES9 Moderator Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New Haven Ct Posts: 23,985	Wow that some great stuff !!!

09-11-2010, 04:27 AM	#19
breesfan27 Mrs. Drew Brees Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Who Dat Nation (by way of South Dakota) Posts: 2,276 Blog Entries: 1	This is my new favorite thread!