VIKING JOKES

Saint_LB · 09-11-2010, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by breesfan27

Q: What does a Minnesota Vikings player do after winning the Super Bowl????
A: He turns off his PlayStation and goes to bed.

This one is my favorite (My friend Kim, a Packers fan, sent me this one)

A man walks up to the Minnesota Vikings ticket counter to inquire about purchasing Super Bowl tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". The next day the man walks up to the Vikings ticket counter and inquires about purchasing Super Bowl Tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". This continues everday for two weeks. Finally the teller says in a very loud voice "SIR I HAVE TOLD YOU EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS, THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS DID NOT MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL, THERE ARE NO TICKETS FOR SALE". The man replies "I know, I drive from Green Bay everyday to hear you say that!"

You reminded me of a joke...

A little old lady was shopping and when she got to the produce department, she asked the clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" The clerk answers, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't have any potatoes."

The old lady goes about her shopping, and a few minutes later she shows up in the produce department again and asks the same clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" Again the man answers, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any potatoes!"

The lady leaves but again after a few minutes she shows up and asks the same clerk, "How much are the potatoes?"

This time, the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "ball" like in "baseball"?

The old lady answers, "B A L L".

Then the clerk asks her, "How do you spell "fish" like in "catfish"?

The little old lady replies, "F I S H".

Then the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "frick" like in "potatoes"?

The old lady says, "There isn't any "frick" in potatoes."

The clerk says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, ma'am, there ain't no frickin' potatoes!"

SmashMouth · 09-11-2010, 09:01 AM

A Viking Fan is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Packer Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Viking Fan ignores the Packer guy who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Packer Fan: "You Viking folk eat the whole bread??"

Viking Fan (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Packer Fan: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Wisconsin, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Minnesota."

The Packer Fan has a smirk on his face. The Viking Fan listens in silence. The Packer Fan persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Viking Fan: "Of Course."

Packer Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Wisconsin we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Minnesota."

The Viking Fan then asks: "Do you have sex in Wisconsin?"

Packer Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Viking Fan: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Packer Fan: "We throw them away, of course."

Viking Fan: "We don't. In Minnesota, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Wisconsin.

foreverfan · 09-11-2010, 09:02 AM

What is a Vikings genie?

A fart in a coke bottle.

SmashMouth · 09-11-2010, 09:03 AM

Q. What's the difference between the MINNESOTA VIKINGS & the Taliban?
A. The Taliban has a running game

foreverfan · 09-11-2010, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by SmashMouth

A Viking Fan is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Packer Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Viking Fan ignores the Packer guy who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Packer Fan: "You Viking folk eat the whole bread??"

Viking Fan (in a bad mood): "Of course."

Packer Fan: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Wisconsin, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Minnesota."

The Packer Fan has a smirk on his face. The Viking Fan listens in silence. The Packer Fan persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Viking Fan: "Of Course."

Packer Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Wisconsin we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Minnesota."

The Viking Fan then asks: "Do you have sex in Wisconsin?"

Packer Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Viking Fan: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Packer Fan: "We throw them away, of course."

Viking Fan: "We don't. In Minnesota, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Wisconsin.

You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you?

D_it_up · 09-11-2010, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by foreverfan

You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you?

HAHA! I was thinking the same thing.

Rugby Saint II · 09-11-2010, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by foreverfan

You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you?

My first thought too.

SmashMouth · 09-11-2010, 01:59 PM

Originally Posted by D_it_up

HAHA! I was thinking the same thing.

What ... we're not playing the Packers for the NFC championship?

CheramieIII · 09-11-2010, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by breesfan27

This is my new favorite thread!

Oh oh got a thread crush here! OK I love it too.

ScottF · 09-12-2010, 11:12 AM

No jokes, per se, but you should just play off of his love of minnesota by emulating his favorite players:

Do you have that report I need?
AP- I GUARANTEE I will get it done

What time are you coming in tomorrow?
BF-Early, no wait, not at all. No, I guess I'll be here for the fun part, after my co-workers have done all the hard stuff

Will your department be profitable this quarter?
Yes, we have already taken a photo declaring ourselves champs

and lastly...
Why didn't you complete the project?
BC, w/ tears in eyes: Because the other departments worked harder and even tried to hurt us. It was like their game plan was to attack our strong point. Why would they do that? And BTW, I will still be crying about this months from now.

09-11-2010, 08:50 AM	#21
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	Originally Posted by breesfan27 Q: What does a Minnesota Vikings player do after winning the Super Bowl???? A: He turns off his PlayStation and goes to bed. This one is my favorite (My friend Kim, a Packers fan, sent me this one) A man walks up to the Minnesota Vikings ticket counter to inquire about purchasing Super Bowl tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". The next day the man walks up to the Vikings ticket counter and inquires about purchasing Super Bowl Tickets. The teller replies "I'm sorry sir the Minnesota Vikings did not make it to the Super Bowl, there are no tickets for sale". This continues everday for two weeks. Finally the teller says in a very loud voice "SIR I HAVE TOLD YOU EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS, THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS DID NOT MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL, THERE ARE NO TICKETS FOR SALE". The man replies "I know, I drive from Green Bay everyday to hear you say that!" You reminded me of a joke... A little old lady was shopping and when she got to the produce department, she asked the clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" The clerk answers, "I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't have any potatoes." The old lady goes about her shopping, and a few minutes later she shows up in the produce department again and asks the same clerk, "How much are your potatoes?" Again the man answers, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any potatoes!" The lady leaves but again after a few minutes she shows up and asks the same clerk, "How much are the potatoes?" This time, the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "ball" like in "baseball"? The old lady answers, "B A L L". Then the clerk asks her, "How do you spell "fish" like in "catfish"? The little old lady replies, "F I S H". Then the clerk asks the lady, "How do you spell "frick" like in "potatoes"? The old lady says, "There isn't any "frick" in potatoes." The clerk says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you, ma'am, there ain't no frickin' potatoes!"
Saint_LB Deuce Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,894	Whether you think you can or think you can't...you're right!

09-11-2010, 09:05 AM	#25
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Originally Posted by SmashMouth A Viking Fan is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Packer Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Viking Fan ignores the Packer guy who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Packer Fan: "You Viking folk eat the whole bread??" Viking Fan (in a bad mood): "Of course." Packer Fan: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Wisconsin, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Minnesota." The Packer Fan has a smirk on his face. The Viking Fan listens in silence. The Packer Fan persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??" Viking Fan: "Of Course." Packer Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Wisconsin we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Minnesota." The Viking Fan then asks: "Do you have sex in Wisconsin?" Packer Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Viking Fan: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Packer Fan: "We throw them away, of course." Viking Fan: "We don't. In Minnesota, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Wisconsin. You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you?

09-11-2010, 12:48 PM	#26
D_it_up Faqda Falcons Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Ruston, Louisiana Posts: 3,465 Blog Entries: 3	Originally Posted by foreverfan You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you? HAHA! I was thinking the same thing.

09-11-2010, 01:07 PM	#27
Rugby Saint II Bounty Money $$$ Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 5800 Airline Dr. Metairie, LA. Posts: 24,052	Originally Posted by foreverfan You're not getting the idea of this thread, are you? My first thought too.

09-11-2010, 01:59 PM	#28
SmashMouth I donated, did you? Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Mandeville, LA Posts: 38,125 Blog Entries: 29	Originally Posted by D_it_up HAHA! I was thinking the same thing. What ... we're not playing the Packers for the NFC championship?

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09-11-2010, 09:01 AM	#22
SmashMouth I donated, did you? Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Mandeville, LA Posts: 38,125 Blog Entries: 29	A Viking Fan is having breakfast one morning; coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Packer Fan, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Viking Fan ignores the Packer guy who, nevertheless, starts a conversation: Packer Fan: "You Viking folk eat the whole bread??" Viking Fan (in a bad mood): "Of course." Packer Fan: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In Wisconsin, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to Minnesota." The Packer Fan has a smirk on his face. The Viking Fan listens in silence. The Packer Fan persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??" Viking Fan: "Of Course." Packer Fan: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In Wisconsin we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to Minnesota." The Viking Fan then asks: "Do you have sex in Wisconsin?" Packer Fan: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk. Viking Fan: And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?" Packer Fan: "We throw them away, of course." Viking Fan: "We don't. In Minnesota, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to Wisconsin.

09-11-2010, 09:02 AM	#23
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	What is a Vikings genie? A fart in a coke bottle.

09-11-2010, 09:03 AM	#24
SmashMouth I donated, did you? Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Mandeville, LA Posts: 38,125 Blog Entries: 29	Q. What's the difference between the MINNESOTA VIKINGS & the Taliban? A. The Taliban has a running game

09-11-2010, 04:36 PM	#29
CheramieIII Fan Since 1967 Join Date: May 2004 Location: Nomad Posts: 7,487 Blog Entries: 3	Originally Posted by breesfan27 This is my new favorite thread! Oh oh got a thread crush here! OK I love it too.

09-12-2010, 11:12 AM	#30
ScottF 5000 POSTS! + Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 6,324	No jokes, per se, but you should just play off of his love of minnesota by emulating his favorite players: Do you have that report I need? AP- I GUARANTEE I will get it done What time are you coming in tomorrow? BF-Early, no wait, not at all. No, I guess I'll be here for the fun part, after my co-workers have done all the hard stuff Will your department be profitable this quarter? Yes, we have already taken a photo declaring ourselves champs and lastly... Why didn't you complete the project? BC, w/ tears in eyes: Because the other departments worked harder and even tried to hurt us. It was like their game plan was to attack our strong point. Why would they do that? And BTW, I will still be crying about this months from now.