WhoDat!656

At dawn the telephone rings,

"Hello, Senor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Bob, that your parrot, he is
dead."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die
from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Bob."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Bob ...."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Bob, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on
fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a
candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Bob."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Bob."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Bob. She showed up very late one night and I thought she
was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf
club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."

SILENCE...........

LONG SILENCE.........

VERY LONG SILENCE............ "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in
deep doodoo."

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."