Go Back   New Orleans Saints Forums - blackandgold.com > Main > Everything Else

Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, I can't serve you here unless you are wearing a tie." The man says, "Okay, I'll be right back," and goes to his car to find anything he ...

Like Tree1521Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-18-2011, 03:16 AM   #81
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'm sorry, I can't serve you here unless you are wearing a tie."

The man says, "Okay, I'll be right back," and goes to his car to find anything he can use for a tie. All he finds is a set of jumper cables, so he ties them around his neck, goes back in and asks, "How's this?"

The bartender replies, "Well, okay, but don't start anything."
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 03:19 AM   #82
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender says "Those horse-face jokes are mean and insensitive. What'll you have?"
foreverfan likes this.
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 06:56 AM   #83
Deuce
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,894
Originally Posted by Crusader View Post
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender says "Those horse-face jokes are mean and insensitive. What'll you have?"
If Sarah Jessica Parker married John Elway, would their offspring be a Colt?
saintfan likes this.
Saint_LB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 12:03 PM   #84
Donated Plasma
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 18,556
Blog Entries: 5
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..
foreverfan likes this.
saintfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 05:02 PM   #85
12,000 BS Posts
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Metairie, LA
Posts: 13,457
Blog Entries: 5
Imagine.... Zooey with 4 boobs.... Ahhhhhh....
foreverfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 06:10 PM   #86
Donated Plasma
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 18,556
Blog Entries: 5
Originally Posted by foreverfan View Post
Imagine.... Zooey with 4 boobs.... Ahhhhhh....
Zooey is perfect. The four-boob theory only applies to other women. And you KNOW THIS...man...
saintfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 07:31 PM   #87
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
A guy walks into a bar in Atlanta and orders a mudslide.

The bartender looks at the man and says, “You ain’t from ‘round here are ya?’

“No,” replies the man, “I’m from Massachusetts.”

The bartender looks at him and says, “Well, what do ya do in Massachusetts?”

“I’m a taxidermist,” said the man.

The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, “What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?”

“The man says, “I mount animals.”

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar...”It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!”
saintfan and foreverfan like this.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2011, 09:46 AM   #88
Deuce
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 2,894
Originally Posted by Saint_LB View Post
If Sarah Jessica Parker married John Elway, would their offspring be a Colt?
...or would it be a Bronco?
Saint_LB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2011, 10:03 AM   #89
12,000 BS Posts
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Metairie, LA
Posts: 13,457
Blog Entries: 5
Originally Posted by Saint_LB View Post
...or would it be a Bronco?
Artist rendition of their kid...



Saint_LB likes this.
foreverfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2011, 04:00 PM   #90
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
A blonde is flying in a two-seat airplane with the pilot.

He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically calls a May Day:

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"


All of a sudden she hears a voice over the radio saying: "The is the tower. I have received your message and I will talk you through it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just relax. Everything will be fine!

Now give me your height and position."


She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."


"O.K." says the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me: Our Father,
Who art in Heaven. . . .."
Saint_LB, Crusader and foreverfan like this.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: https://blackandgold.com/ee/37280-joke-day.html
Posted By For Type Date Hits
Joke of the Day - Page 9 : Jessica Elway Photos, Wallpapers, Galleries - This thread Refback 03-21-2012 03:53 PM 1


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:36 AM.


Copyright 1997 - 2020 - BlackandGold.com
no new posts