Joke of the Day

foreverfan · 08-23-2019, 08:23 PM

st thomas · 09-18-2019, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by foreverfan

WTF

st thomas · 09-18-2019, 07:45 AM

Originally Posted by foreverfan

Still laughing

dam1953 · 09-23-2019, 01:28 PM

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it?

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why the were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was "Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I'm like Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

foreverfan · 09-24-2019, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by dam1953

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it?

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why the were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was "Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I'm like Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

WhoDat!656 · 09-27-2019, 11:16 AM

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a barstool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English – they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

st thomas · 09-27-2019, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by WhoDat!656

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a barstool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English – they're so arrogant and rude."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

My lite just clicked on . Got it lol

dam1953 · 10-02-2019, 06:28 PM

Friends - please be careful.
Yesterday I went to a Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots...

I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit.

That's when I decided to do what I have never done before. I took a cab home.

Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.

This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know that to do with it.

08-23-2019, 08:23 PM	#1
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Re: Joke of the Day

09-18-2019, 07:44 AM	#2
st thomas Site Donor 2018 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: lafayette Posts: 7,753	Re: Joke of the Day Originally Posted by foreverfan WTF

09-18-2019, 07:45 AM	#3
st thomas Site Donor 2018 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: lafayette Posts: 7,753	Re: Joke of the Day Originally Posted by foreverfan Still laughing

09-23-2019, 01:28 PM	#4
dam1953 1000 Posts + Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: SW Ohio Posts: 4,645	Re: Joke of the Day A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it? "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why the were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was "Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I'm like Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
	”It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin

09-24-2019, 09:05 PM	#5
foreverfan 12,000 BS Posts Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Metairie, LA Posts: 13,457 Blog Entries: 5	Re: Joke of the Day Originally Posted by dam1953 A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it? "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why the were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was "Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback! I'm like Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"

09-27-2019, 11:16 AM	#6
WhoDat!656 10000 POST CLUB Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 16,086	Re: Joke of the Day Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a barstool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please." The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?" "Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees. "Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..." "Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English – they're so arrogant and rude." "So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."
	"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

09-27-2019, 11:20 AM	#7
st thomas Site Donor 2018 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: lafayette Posts: 7,753	Re: Joke of the Day Originally Posted by WhoDat!656 Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a barstool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please." The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?" "Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees. "Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..." "Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English – they're so arrogant and rude." "So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender. "It's the only chance Jim gets to drive." My lite just clicked on . Got it lol

10-02-2019, 06:28 PM	#8
dam1953 1000 Posts + Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: SW Ohio Posts: 4,645	Re: Joke of the Day Friends - please be careful. Yesterday I went to a Christmas party. I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails, followed by a few shots... I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit. That's when I decided to do what I have never done before. I took a cab home. Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I don't even know where I got it from and, now that it is in my garage, I don't know that to do with it.
	”It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Charles Darwin

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