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Here are some one liner Why ask Why's
If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? |
More one liner why's
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? |
And one for the Marines here:
Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Marine said "those are deer tracks." The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks." The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them. |
A balding, white haired man walked into a jewellery store in a local shopping center Friday evening with a beautiful much younger girl at his side.
He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' The jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000' the jeweller said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick up the ring Monday afternoon.' On Monday morning, the jeweller angrily phoned the old man and said, 'There was only $25 in your account.' 'I know, said the old man, 'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!' |
An Arab enters a taxi
Once he is seated, he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio because, as decreed by his religion, he must not hear music and in the time of the prophet, there was no music; especially Western music, which is music of the infidel. So, the cab driver promptly switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door. The Arab asks: What are you doing? The cabbie replies: In the time of the prophet there were no taxis. So get out and wait for a camel! |
An Arab boards a plane and takes his seat next to the window.
A few minutes later, another Arab takes the center seat in the same row. Just before the plane finishes boarding, a man in civilian clothes and is obviously in the Marines, takes his seat next to the aisle and takes his shoes off. After the plane reaches cruising altitude, the Arab next to the window gets up saying he wants to get a Coke. The Marine tells him that he will get it for him. After the Marine leaves, the Arab spits in one of his shoes. A few after returning with the soda, the Arab in the middle seat says he wants to a Coke also. The Marine tells him, "Stay seated. I'll get it for you!" After the Marine leaves, this Arab spits in his other shoe. The Marine returns and gives the Arab his beverage. As the plane begins to land, the Marine puts his shoes on and realizes what has happened. The Marines turns to the two Arabs and says, "This behaviour has to stop! Arabs spitting in shoes. Marines pissing in your Cokes!" |
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Women always say that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Here is proof that they are wrong. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “it would be nice to have another kid.” You never hear a guy say, “I would like another kick in the nuts.” Case closed. |
Jenny Craig - For Men
A guy calls the company and orders their 5 day - 5 lbs. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and standing before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe from Jenny Craig dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5 day - 10 lbs. program. The next day there's a knock at the door and standing before him is the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, 'If you catch me, you can have me'. Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and despite his best efforts, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 lbs., as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order their 7 day - 15 lbs. program. 'Are you sure?' asks the representative on the phone... 'This is our most rigorous program.' 'Absolutely,' he replies, 'I haven't felt this good in years.' The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, 'If I catch you, you're mine.' He lost 31 lbs. that week. . . |
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex, she spent the next hour rubbing his testicles; this was something she loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he asked her, "Why do you enjoy doing that?" Because, she replied, "I really miss mine." |
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