dam1953

Even a choupique isn't that dang ugly. The picture does kind of remind me of something they tried to get me to eat in Jilin China.

WhoDat!656

Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking
beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is
confronted by a little Oriental man, clutching a clip board and
yelling, “You sign! You sign!”

Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the
man starts to yell louder, “You sign! You sign!”

Nelson says to him, “Look, you’ve obviously got the
wrong man”, and shuts the door in his face.

The next day he hears a knock at the door again.

When he opens it, the little Oriental guy is back with a
huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his clipboard under
Nelson’s nose, yelling, “You sign! You sign!”

Mr Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes
the little man back, shouting: “‘Look, go away! You’ve got
the wrong man. I don’t want them!” Then he slams the door
in his face again.

The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the
afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again.

On opening the door, there is the same little man
thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting,
“You sign! You sign!”

Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts.

This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up
the little Man by his shirt front and yells at him:
“Look, I don’t want these! Do you understand? You
must have the wrong name! Whom do you want to give these
to?”

The little man looks very puzzled, consults his
clipboard, and says:

“You not Nissan Main Deala

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."

foreverfan

dam1953

Cube he Sentra Versa Note to the wrong guy and got his Altima Coupe..d.

dam1953

I'll apologize in advance. It's been a very, very long day.

saintfan

A husband and wife are shopping in their local HEB. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

When the paramedics arrived the man was face down on Aisle 5.

C'mon Man...

limitless

dam1953

Recently, Arizona college professors were polled regarding their position on the 2010 immigration law (SB1070) that was overturned by the US Supreme Court.

60% agreed with the principals of the law.
40% said "no hablo Inglés"

WhoDat!656

Recently, Arizona college professors were polled regarding their position on the 2010 immigration law (SB1070) that was overturned by the US Supreme Court.

WhoDat!656

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across a deep hole.

"Wow.....that looks deep."

"Sure does.... toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is."

They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait....no noise.

"Geez. That is REALLY deep..here..throw one of these great big rocks down there. That should make a noise."

They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait...and wait.

Nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over there in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it's GOTTA make some noise."

The two drag the heavy tie over the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, goes right past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen.

Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over.

"Hey..have you two guys seen my goat out there?"

"You bet we did! Craziest thing I've ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"

The farmer says, "That couldn't have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."