Go Back   New Orleans Saints Forums - blackandgold.com > Main > Everything Else

Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; Walmart Butt Lift....

Like Tree1521Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-13-2012, 07:21 PM   #341
12,000 BS Posts
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Metairie, LA
Posts: 13,457
Blog Entries: 5
Walmart Butt Lift.

foreverfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2012, 07:09 PM   #342
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
The Ultimate Ethnic Joke!!

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan, an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans all walk into a very fine restaurant –

"I'm sorry," says the maÃtre d', after scrutinizing the group........."You can't come in here without a Thai. "

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2012, 05:25 PM   #343
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
Old cowboy in a pharmacy.

Cowboy: “Give me a packet of condoms, please.”

Cashier: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”

Cowboy: “Nah. She ain’t that ugly.
Danno likes this.
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2012, 05:32 PM   #344
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...


... I’m sorry...what did you ask me?

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2012, 05:39 PM   #345
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
Guy goes to his doctor.

Doc: Look—you’ve got to stop masturbating.

Guy: Why?

Doc: So I can examine you.
Danno, Crusader and sharke like this.
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2012, 10:17 PM   #346
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-21-2012, 05:53 AM   #347
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
While hiking down along the border one morning,
I saw a Muslim extremist fall into the Rio Grande River .

He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns
and bombs he was carrying.

Along with him was a Mexican, who was also struggling
to stay afloat because of the large backpack of drugs that was
strapped to his back.

If they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Texan and abiding by the law to help those in distress,
I informed the El Paso County Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4 PM, both have surely drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.
Crusader and sharke like this.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2012, 06:36 PM   #348
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, sales man... and so forth.

However, little Tyrone was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied,

"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay strip club and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Tyrone aside.”

Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to try to get Obama re-elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of all the other kids."
foreverfan likes this.

"A Veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2012, 06:38 PM   #349
10000 POST CLUB
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Shreveport,Louisiana
Posts: 15,996
The candy with the little hole
WhoDat!656 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-25-2012, 03:16 AM   #350
Resident Swede
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Märsta, Sweden
Posts: 7,981
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	shampoo.jpg
Views:	0
Size:	35.6 KB
ID:	4887  
WhoDat!656 likes this.
Crusader is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: https://blackandgold.com/ee/37280-joke-day.html
Posted By For Type Date Hits
Joke of the Day - Page 9 : Jessica Elway Photos, Wallpapers, Galleries - This thread Refback 03-21-2012 03:53 PM 1


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:18 AM.


Copyright 1997 - 2020 - BlackandGold.com
no new posts