Go Back   New Orleans Saints Forums - blackandgold.com > Main > Everything Else

Joke of the Day

this is a discussion within the Everything Else Community Forum; A neutron walks into a bar. He orders politely, finishes his beer, and throws $5 on the bar. The bartender pushes it back and says, “For you, no charge”...

Like Tree1521Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-01-2023, 04:47 AM   #1651
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

A neutron walks into a bar.

He orders politely, finishes his beer, and throws $5 on the bar. The bartender pushes it back and says, “For you, no charge”
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-01-2023, 07:25 PM   #1652
1000 Posts +
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 4,645
Re: Joke of the Day

FYI... This was Boudreaux / Thibodeaux & Marie on the bayou about 30 years ago.
SmashMouth likes this.
dam1953 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-26-2023, 08:15 AM   #1653
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

A man is walking in a graveyard

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it’s over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. “What’s going on?” he asks a cemetery worker.

“It’s Beethoven,” says the worker. “He’s decomposing.”
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-28-2023, 10:06 AM   #1654
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

A man is walking through the desert, desperate for water, when he sees something far off in the distance.

Hoping to find water, he hurries towards the object, only to find a little old man sitting at a table with a bunch of ties laid out.
The parched wanderer asks, "Please, I'm dying of thirst, can I have some water?"
The man at the table, nonchalantly, replies, "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your clothes."
The man, annoyed, replies, "I don't need a tie, I need water!"
"Well, don't be mad," says the little old man, "if you go over that hill and walk for about 3 miles, there's a restaurant there. They have all the water you need."
With no other option, the man thanks him and walks over the hill, desperately hoping for water.

Three hours later, the man trudges back to the little old man's place, and he is more desperate than ever:
"Your brother won't let me in without a tie!"
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-2023, 08:05 AM   #1655
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

Two fish were in a tank.

One said to the other "do you know how to drive this thing?"
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2024, 08:56 AM   #1656
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

The USDA just took my uncle's land so it could set up an experimental lettuce farm.

Eminent romaine
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-13-2024, 08:06 AM   #1657
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

A wife treats her man by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday... At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hey Johnny, How are You?" The wife asks, "How does he know you? Johnny says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Johnny?" Johnny says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team." Next a stripper Says, "Hi Johnny! Do You Crave the Special Again??" The wife storms out dragging Johnny with her & jumps into a taxi... The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Johnny Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-2024, 12:25 PM   #1658
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-25-2024, 10:22 AM   #1659
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mandeville, LA
Posts: 36,956
Blog Entries: 29
Re: Joke of the Day

Three pieces of string are walking down the streets of Laredo. It is hot and dry and one of the pieces of string says “I’d like a beer. Let’s go in here.”

They were in front of a local business that was open like things used to be before Covid. They all agreed and walked in. They decided they only needed one beer, so one piece of string goes up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at him and says, “Aren’t you a piece of string?” The string says yes and the bartender throws him out. Saying, “I do not serve string in my establishment.”

So the second piece of string says, everyone likes me, I’ll go in and get a beer for us. He walks in and walks up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Aren’t you a piece of string?” and the string answers in the affirmative. The bartender picks up the piece of string and walks him to the door and unceremoniously throws him out into the street.

So now the three pieces of string are convinced the bartender will never serve a beer to any piece of string, so what are they to do. The third piece of string says “I’ve got an idea.” He kind of turns himself into a pretzel. frays one end of himself and walks into the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender can not believe the third piece of string has walked into his bar. He bends down and says, “Aren’t you a piece of string?” The piece of string straightens himself as much as possible and says, “Frayed knot.”
SmashMouth is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: https://blackandgold.com/ee/37280-joke-day.html
Posted By For Type Date Hits
Joke of the Day - Page 9 : Jessica Elway Photos, Wallpapers, Galleries - This thread Refback 03-21-2012 03:53 PM 1


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:25 PM.


Copyright 1997 - 2020 - BlackandGold.com
no new posts